IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shop using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you thinkthis will be happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

It is firmly believed that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
retailers will not accept
cash
Use synonyms
 as a mode of payment for objects.
However
Linking Words
, with the increasing trend of cardless transactions, customers will be supposed to pay by card or via online banking.
According to
Linking Words
 my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 trend will be prominent in the future because of the benefits it possesses regardless of the preference of a group of people who would use
cash
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of cards. To commence with, technological advancements
such
Linking Words
 as contactless transactions and online payment options have provided certain benefits to the population. It offers convenience in sending and receiving money by saving time and the ability to approach the facility at any place. In
this
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 contemporary era, individuals rely on using banking options
while
Linking Words
 shopping, eating and accessing other amenities as they can easily make payments with just one tap which saves them time.
Moreover
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,
this
Linking Words
 facility
also
Linking Words
 reduces the risk of theft and loss. Carrying a high amount of
cash
Use synonyms
 sometimes leads causes loss to people
while
Linking Words
 paying.
For instance
Linking Words
, when the payers count money to pass to the seller, in some cases, the money slips away and most of the time the thieves steal it.
This
Linking Words
 tendency is reduced
while
Linking Words
 transacting with online methods. On the flip side, there are a number of people who may not accept the acceptance of cards everywhere because of some reasons.
Firstly
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,
under-aged
Correct your spelling
underage
show examples
 children are not able to open their bank accounts. They usually prefer paying
cash
Use synonyms
 on the counters which they receive as a gift or present from their parents. If online banking dominates the world,
such
Linking Words
 groups will face significant hurdles in accessing necessities. In conclusion, I believe that definitely online payments will be preferred by customers and retailers all over the world but there are still groups who might face difficulty in accepting
this
Linking Words
 trend.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly explain all your main points in separate paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas for better flow.
task achievement
Include more examples to support your points for a stronger argument.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided a good example about theft and cash loss.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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