Some people believe that entering the workplace after school is far more beneficial than studying at university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Recently,many believe that attending
university
Use synonyms
is not more useful than going to work after schooling.I agree that it is beneficial to go to work after
school
Use synonyms
Correct word choice
and
show examples
then
Linking Words
achieve a degree at
university
Use synonyms
.In
this
Linking Words
essay,I will explain my view with arguments.
Firstly
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, discuss direct
entry
Use synonyms
into the
workplace
Use synonyms
after
school
Use synonyms
.The first reason which supports
this
Linking Words
view is immediate income.
For instance
Linking Words
,it is generally believed that early
entry
Use synonyms
into practical life makes an independent person.Sadly,
this
Linking Words
is a point
that is
Linking Words
not offered to a
university
Use synonyms
student.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
direct
entry
Use synonyms
into the workforce after basic
education
Use synonyms
is more beneficial than studying at a
university
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,the argument that favours
this
Linking Words
view is fast learning.
For example
Linking Words
,it is considered that children can learn faster than adults.
Thus
Linking Words
, it becomes clear that entering the
workplace
Use synonyms
after basic
education
Use synonyms
is more useful than attending a
university
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the
university
Use synonyms
is important for academic knowledge.
For instance
Linking Words
,it is widely known that learning at
university
Use synonyms
is vital for deep knowledge.
In addition
Linking Words
,scientists come from higher institutes.
As a result
Linking Words
,a
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
has more plus points than entering into
workplace
Use synonyms
after
school
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
is vital for career opportunities.It is generally believed that high-paying jobs are given to those persons,who are well educated in a particular field.
Thus
Linking Words
,it is more useful to get a
university
Use synonyms
degree than go to the
workplace
Use synonyms
after early training. Despite some plus sides,
people
Use synonyms
should take
this
Linking Words
into consideration to make the right choice.
Firstly
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
may get detached from
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
,
that is
Linking Words
when they start to forget some knowledge but they do not notice it, since they have to put so much effort into working.
Besides
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
cannot decide what job suits them best because they do not have any targets for their futures.
For example
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
may feel uncomfortable with their current jobs, and
then
Linking Words
they will make some bad decisions which can ruin their future in some cases. In conclusion,direct
entry
Use synonyms
into the
workplace
Use synonyms
provides an opportunity to get immediate income and fast learning.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
going to the
workplace
Use synonyms
after
school
Use synonyms
is more beneficial than getting a deep
education
Use synonyms
at a
university
Use synonyms
.After a thorough analysis,I agreed with
this
Linking Words
statement.
Submitted by jamalashraf45 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are both clearly presented and effectively summarize the topic and your stance on the issue. The current introduction and conclusion need improvement for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to create a logical structure throughout the essay that clarifies the relationships between ideas. This includes enhancing paragraph transitions to guide the reader more smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear main topic that is supported by relevant examples or arguments. While you have attempted to provide support, the examples given are often too generic and require more specificity to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that your response provides a balanced discussion of the topic with a final position that coherently sums up the arguments presented.
task achievement
Clarify your main ideas by developing each one with detailed explanations and pertinent examples. Currently, some ideas are not fully expanded upon, which undermines the thoroughness of the response.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to illustrate and support your points. Doing so strengthens your argument and indicates a clearer understanding of the topic and its implications.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Workforce
  • On-the-job training
  • Student debt
  • Career ladder
  • Academic knowledge
  • Vocational training
  • Critical thinking
  • Networking
  • Hybrid approaches
  • Long-term advantages
  • Financial situations
  • Personal goals
  • Industry demands
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