IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#tourism #industries #economies #world #damage #cultures #environment
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Nowadays, tourism has become one of the most rapidly growing industries worldwide which has a huge impact on the government’s economy.
However
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, tourist visits may affect the host
countries
Use synonyms
 negatively by influencing local culture, traditions and nature. In
this
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 article, I will support both sides of the coin. On the one hand,
tourists
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 bring a lot of advantages for
countries
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 where their trip lies. The sightseer presence can boost host
countries
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' economies,
for example
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, by purchasing souvenirs and shopping in local stores, renting apartments to stay in.
Also
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, travellers broaden people’s minds about other
countries
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' cultures by communicating with locals.
However
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, there are still some drawbacks that
tourists
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 can bring with them.
On the other hand
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, the worst drawback is that the influx of
tourists
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 can lead to a loss of cultural authenticity and surroundings.
For instance
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, the visitors of some European
countries
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 usually do not follow the tradition of covering their heads when they travel to
such
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 Muslim
countries
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 as UAE or Bahrain.
As a result
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, people make locals feel uncomfortable. Another example is physical damage that comes from
tourists
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 of some significant types of trees as Sacura in Japan during its blossom. In conclusion,
although
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 the economy is developed by the tourism sector I do not believe that citizens of the host
countries
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 are optimistic about
tourists
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.
Submitted by zakhra.aliyeva2001 on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear position is presented and maintained throughout the essay. Avoid sitting on the fence regarding the issue.
task achievement
Develop each main point in individual paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting details.
task achievement
Provide more consistent and thorough support for the main points with relevant examples to back up your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Work on constructing clear and logical transitions between ideas and paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Review the use of cohesive devices and topic sentences to reduce redundancy and repetition, enhancing clarity and logical flow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural dilution
  • Environmental degradation
  • Responsible tourism
  • Ecotourism
  • Cultural conservation
  • Habitat destruction
  • Sustainable practices
  • Cultural exchange
  • Commercialization of cultural sites
  • Cultural heritage
  • Local ecosystems
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