The chart below shows the number of three types of visitor to a museum between 1997 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#three #visitor #museum #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The bar chart reveals the amounts of museum

visitors

Use synonyms

divided into three categories (adult

visitors

Use synonyms

visitors

Use synonyms

aged under 15, and special exhibition

visitors

Use synonyms

) from 1997 to 2012.

Overall

Linking Words

, the most notable trend is that adults became the majority of the

guests

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over the periods, and had fluctuated.

While

Linking Words

young

visitors

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experienced a downward trend throughout the entire period, special

exhibitions

Fix the agreement mistake

exhibition

show examples

guests

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on the contrary

Linking Words

. Looking at the chart in detail, the mature

visitors

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started with just over 300

thousand

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in 1997

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and increased slightly to about 2,100 in the next five years.

Next,

Linking Words

in 2007, the adult

guests

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reached a peak point at just above 400

thousand

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then

Linking Words

notably declined to 380

thousand

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in 2012.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, in 1997, The number of

visitors

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under the age of 15 was 120

thousand

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while

Linking Words

the number of

guests

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attending special exhibitions was 28

thousand

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Then

Linking Words

, young

visitors

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gradually decreased until the

last

Linking Words

years (2012) and stood at approximately 82

thousand

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. Different from young

guests

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, special exhibition

visitors

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had a small rise through the period and levelled out at 42

thousand

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In addition

Linking Words

, the total number of

visitors

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throughout the period was about 1,918,800.

Submitted by zzahrinaamalia on Mon Dec 11 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, guests, thousand with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

190 words

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The chart below shows the number of three types of visitor to a museum between 1997 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people believe that it is better to stay with one company during a career. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view?

Schools should stop using books for teaching to learn as they find them boring, and use films, TV and computers instead. To what extent do you agree with this?

In their advertising, bussinesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?