The chart below shows the number of three types of visitor to a museum between 1997 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#three #visitor #museum #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The bar chart reveals the amounts of museum

visitors

divided into three categories (adult

visitors

aged under 15, and special exhibition

visitors

) from 1997 to 2012.

Overall

, the most notable trend is that adults became the majority of the

guests

over the periods, and had fluctuated.

While

young

visitors

experienced a downward trend throughout the entire period, special

exhibitions

Fix the agreement mistake

exhibition

show examples

guests

on the contrary

. Looking at the chart in detail, the mature

visitors

started with just over 300

thousand

in 1997

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and increased slightly to about 2,100 in the next five years.

Next,

in 2007, the adult

guests

reached a peak point at just above 400

thousand

then

notably declined to 380

thousand

in 2012.

Furthermore

, in 1997, The number of

visitors

under the age of 15 was 120

thousand

while

the number of

guests

attending special exhibitions was 28

thousand

Then

, young

visitors

gradually decreased until the

last

years (2012) and stood at approximately 82

thousand

. Different from young

guests

, special exhibition

visitors

had a small rise through the period and levelled out at 42

thousand

In addition

, the total number of

visitors

throughout the period was about 1,918,800.

Submitted by zzahrinaamalia on Mon Dec 11 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, guests, thousand with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

190 words

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Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion.

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In some countries, some school leavers choose to work or travel for a year between finishing secondary school and attending university.

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?