In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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It is commonly argued that
,
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apply
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immigrating of rural individuals to
cities
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is a world
wire
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wide
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issue and it leads to
the
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a
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decrease
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decreasing
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number of
population
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the population
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in the
Country side
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Countryside
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. on an
unpre cedented
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unprecedented
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scale: I will Support
this
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view with reasonable arguments in the following paragraphs. Rural
people
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are moving to
cities
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for several tangible reasons and some
obsure
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obscure
reasons.First and
the
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apply
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most reason, individuals move to
cites
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cities
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for reaching
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to reach
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high value
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high-value
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facilities,
humely
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homely
humbly
:better Job positions or better access to public transportation Which are so unachieveable for rural mass.
Secondly
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many
people
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are moving to
cities
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for treating healing ,Since the govamment has not predicted Suitable medical considerations for these
people
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. More over, many popular schools and universities an built in big
cities
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such
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as: capital
cities
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of every cuntry,
then
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we face influx of individuals in special part of a Country. arthermare,A Part from that, whenever the proportion of population the number of
people
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In an area. is on the rise, we will Face countable difficalties in
cities
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management,
for instance
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: The
level
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of Traffic will increase and it trigers air pollution in an excessive
level
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and
consequently
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bring about growing the number of death toll.
Although
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, runal person leare the countryside for reaching better living conditions, it leads to the price of houses experiences an exorbitant price, Because the demands for accommbdations is" soaring on the high
level
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.Inconclusion, I strongly believe that, the goverment should take some considerations for reducing the rate of migrants from countryside to
cities
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and it has to provide , all kinds of facilities liked education and Treatment facilities and by
this
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method trys to Keep The
level
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of rural and urbenized
people
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in sensible balance, since I think
cities
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infrastructures Can not tollerate
such
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a huge popluatian.
Submitted by amirshajarizadeh on

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Coherence Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure. The ideas are difficult to follow, and the paragraphs do not flow well from one to the next. Make sure each paragraph is clearly focused on a single main idea, and use connecting words to guide the reader through your argument logically.
Coherence Cohesion
You successfully presented an introduction and conclusion, but they are not effective. The introduction is unclear and does not outline your argument well. The conclusion is also not well-developed. Ensure that your introduction includes a clear thesis statement and briefly outlines the points you will discuss, while your conclusion should summarize your argument and reflect on its implications.
Coherence Cohesion
Your essay attempts to provide support for your main points, but the support is not consistent and often lacks clarity. Ensure that each of your main points is backed by clear reasoning and evidence. Additionally, your examples are not specific or relevant enough to strengthen your argument. Try to incorporate clear, specific examples to illustrate your points effectively.
Task Achievement
You have provided a response to the task, but it is incomplete and does not address the question fully. You need to ensure that your response fully answers all parts of the question, including whether the movement from rural to urban areas is a positive or negative development.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are not expressed clearly or comprehensively. Work on expressing your thoughts more clearly by organizing them effectively and using a more precise vocabulary. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your sentences are grammatically correct and make sense.
Task Achievement
Your essay lacks relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. This is crucial for achieving a high score in IELTS writing. When making a point, always try to include at least one detailed example to clarify and support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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