In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
It is commonly argued that
,
immigrating of rural individuals to Remove the comma
apply
cities
is a world wire
issue and it leads to Correct your spelling
wide
the
Correct article usage
a
decrease
number of Change the verb form
decreasing
population
in the Correct article usage
the population
Country side
. on an Correct your spelling
Countryside
unpre cedented
scale: I will Support Correct your spelling
unprecedented
this
view with reasonable arguments in the following paragraphs.
Rural people
are moving to cities
for several tangible reasons and some obsure
reasons.First and Correct your spelling
obscure
the
most reason, individuals move to Correct article usage
apply
cites
Correct your spelling
cities
for reaching
Change preposition
to reach
high value
facilities, Add a hyphen
high-value
humely
:better Job positions or better access to public transportation Which are so unachieveable for rural mass. Correct your spelling
homely
humbly
Secondly
many people
are moving to cities
for treating healing ,Since the govamment has not predicted Suitable medical considerations for these people
.
More over, many popular schools and universities an built in big cities
such
as: capital cities
of every cuntry, then
we face influx of individuals in special part of a Country. arthermare,A Part from that, whenever the proportion of population the number of people
In an area. is on the rise, we will Face countable difficalties in cities
management, for instance
: The level
of Traffic will increase and it trigers air pollution in an excessive level
and consequently
bring about growing the number of death toll. Although
, runal person leare the countryside for reaching better living conditions, it leads to the price of houses experiences an exorbitant price, Because the demands for accommbdations is" soaring on the high level
.Inconclusion, I strongly believe that, the goverment should take some considerations for reducing the rate of migrants from countryside to cities
and it has to provide , all kinds of facilities liked education and Treatment facilities and by this
method trys to Keep The level
of rural and urbenized people
in sensible balance, since I think cities
infrastructures Can not tollerate such
a huge popluatian.Submitted by amirshajarizadeh on
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Coherence Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure. The ideas are difficult to follow, and the paragraphs do not flow well from one to the next. Make sure each paragraph is clearly focused on a single main idea, and use connecting words to guide the reader through your argument logically.
Coherence Cohesion
You successfully presented an introduction and conclusion, but they are not effective. The introduction is unclear and does not outline your argument well. The conclusion is also not well-developed. Ensure that your introduction includes a clear thesis statement and briefly outlines the points you will discuss, while your conclusion should summarize your argument and reflect on its implications.
Coherence Cohesion
Your essay attempts to provide support for your main points, but the support is not consistent and often lacks clarity. Ensure that each of your main points is backed by clear reasoning and evidence. Additionally, your examples are not specific or relevant enough to strengthen your argument. Try to incorporate clear, specific examples to illustrate your points effectively.
Task Achievement
You have provided a response to the task, but it is incomplete and does not address the question fully. You need to ensure that your response fully answers all parts of the question, including whether the movement from rural to urban areas is a positive or negative development.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are not expressed clearly or comprehensively. Work on expressing your thoughts more clearly by organizing them effectively and using a more precise vocabulary. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your sentences are grammatically correct and make sense.
Task Achievement
Your essay lacks relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. This is crucial for achieving a high score in IELTS writing. When making a point, always try to include at least one detailed example to clarify and support your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.