IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The intelligent robots are becoming in the future. is it a blessing or curse? what is your opinion?

#robots #future #curse
Nowadays, artificial intelligence is becoming famous and it will lead to the use of intelligent
robots
 more widely in the future. In my opinion, it is a blessing from some points of view because it will help
people
 do specific
tasks
 and easier to make decisions based on
data
 that
robots
 provide. One of the reasons is a blessing, that intelligent
robots
 are made to help
people
 do specific
tasks
. Especially, for
people
 who open restaurants but they do not have enough employees. The intelligent robot will help them
while
 the restaurant opens like delivering food to the customers or cleaning the table and the floor. Those special
tasks
 that humans can do but not many public want to do it. As we know
people
 tend to work in the office rather than clean the restaurant.
Other reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
Another reason
show examples
, most intelligent
robots
 are created to populate and illustrate
data
 for decision-making something. It is helpful to
people
 , especially for
creating
Verb problem
making
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quick
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
.
For instance
,
people
 who are working in drilling wells, need intelligent
robots
 to share all existing
data
 from existing and current wells
such
 as what risks they will face during drilling and where the target prospect is. Based on the
data
 that
already
Add a missing verb
is already
show examples
 shared by intelligent
robots
, engineers will
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to make quicker decisions than used to be. Compared with twenty years ago during drilling, engineers needed at least two days to make the same decisions as the technology still not advanced at that time.
However
, in my opinion, intelligent
robots
 are a blessing for
people
 but it is
also
 a curse for some
people
. It will lead some unemployment in the future because there will be some jobs that replaced by
robots
 and it already started now
such
 as waitresses and parking. I think for these drawbacks, the government needs to have some regulations regarding the intelligent
robots
 used on a big scale.
Therefore
,
people
 will be secure and safe
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their jobs.
Overall
, intelligent
robots
 will be a blessing in the future because they will help in
people
's lives with special
tasks
 and they will make
people
 more efficient than before.
However
, we need to be aware of the drawbacks that can replace
people
 in some particular jobs.
Submitted by lindamahadita on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear overall structure, but some paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences that precisely introduce the main idea of the paragraph. Additionally, transitions between paragraphs and within the paragraphs themselves can be improved to enhance the logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic and provided your opinion which is good for task response. However, the essay could be strengthened by offering a more nuanced discussion, balancing both sides of the argument throughout rather than introducing the counter-argument towards the end. Moreover, try to develop your main points further with more detailed examples and a deeper analysis of how intelligent robots impact society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: