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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 to 2019.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 to 2019.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country
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The two charts
inticate
Correct your spelling
indicate
intricate
 the figure of time
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 doing housework in families in terms of the transformation in ownership of electrical
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
show examples
 - the washing machine, the
refrigerator
, and the
vacuum
 cleaner - in one region from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
, the
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of households with
eletrical
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electrical
 appliances all increased.
In contrast
, the number of hours of doing housework declined generally. In 1920, the amount of households with electrical devices - the washing
mechine
Correct your spelling
machine
, the
refrigerator
, and the
vacuum
 cleaner - were about 40%, almost zero
persent
Correct your spelling
per cent
present
, and 30% respectively. In 1960, it can be seen a dramatic increase in
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
, the
poportion
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proportion
 of
housholds
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households
 of the remaining devices rose gradually. Between 1960 and 1980, the portions of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 grew rapidly
while
 the figure of
housholds
Correct your spelling
households
 with washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 declined slightly. After 1980, the
poportion
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proportion
 of households with all
devices
Correct article usage
the devices
show examples
 increased
stabily
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steadily
. In 2019, the number of
housholds
Correct your spelling
households
 of
these three appliance
Change the determiner
this three appliance
these three appliances
show examples
 (the washing machine, the
refrigerator
, and the
vacuum
 cleaner) were at approximately 15%, 100%,
100
Correct word choice
and 100
show examples
% respectively.
Submitted by Nini on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words refrigerator, vacuum with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • electrical appliances
  • housework
  • time frame
  • variables
  • trends
  • significant milestones
  • turning points
  • correlation
  • reduction
  • influenced
  • societal implications
  • quality of life
  • gender roles
  • economic implications
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