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Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

#students #science #subjects #university #countries #effects #society
In
contemporary
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the contemporary
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 era, many young
people
 prefer a
job
 which can develop their talent in most of the nationalities. There are many factors
on
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in
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this
sitiations
Correct your spelling
situations
situation
.
This
 essay will examine the main causes of
choose
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choosing
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this
 and possible solutions
of
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to
show examples
this
 problem. First and foremost,
the
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apply
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science subjects have become
integral
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an integral
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 part
in
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of
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 our daily
live
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lives
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although
 young
people
 do not want these fields. The major influence on pupils is social media, advanced technology, different
type
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types
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 of movies and
unfortunatelly
Correct your spelling
unfortunately
unfortunate
 affair of
can
Verb problem
apply
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not find a
job
 after their graduation. Most of the juveniles
,
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apply
show examples
 think that the salary they will receive after graduating from scientific departments is not worth the effort they put into studying that subject.
For instance
,
according to
 conducted by a German university, 51% of young
people
 who have chosen science majors have not found a
job
 and are doing something else
instead
 of their own work.
On the other hand
, if the main cause of
this
 problem seems to be the inability to find a
job
, the state has a big role to play. States should guarantee jobs for young
people
 and provide scholarships or free course materials to encourage them.
Moreover
, they can take children who are still in high school on scientific trips or organize events where they can meet important scientists in their country and get ideas. In conclusion, today, many young students do not choose science programs. there are multiple reasons for
this
, but the biggest reason is that they are worried about finding a
job
 in the future. Government
job
 opportunities and incentive programs can re-engage students in these fields.
Submitted by dytayseozgul on

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task achievement
The essay does not adequately address both parts of the question, focusing primarily on the causes without adequate discussion of the effects on society. Moreover, there is an imbalance in the development of main points.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a more structured approach with clear topic sentences that introduce the main ideas of each paragraph. There is some attempt at logical ordering, but this can be improved through better paragraphing and more explicit linking of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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