IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows how instant noodiles are manufactured. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how instant noodiles are manufactured. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant.
#instant #noodiles #summerise #information #feature #comparisons
This
 diagram
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 the processing of
noodles
 in the factory basically starting from
flour
 until
reach
Correct subject-verb agreement
reaches
show examples
 packaging.
Overall
, we have
Correct article usage
a totally
show examples
totally
Replace the word
total
show examples
eight
Change preposition
of eight
show examples
 steps to preparing
noodles
.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 it
begging
Verb problem
begins
show examples
 as harvest
flour
 and it
cross
Change the verb form
crosses
show examples
 into four minor steps before cooking and drying to get ready for selling
product
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
 in proper packaging.
It is clear that
 ,
firstly
 there are two huge
tube
Change to a plural noun
tubes
show examples
 for Storage silos which came from track as
flour
,
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
 step, is adding water and oil
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
container
Correct article usage
the container
show examples
 of the mixture and putting on the rollers
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 order to create the dough sheet which is
smoothly
Change the word
smooth
show examples
 in appearance following, it will convert
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
into strips to get ready for making
noodles
 discs in
circle
Add an article
a circle
show examples
 shape . In
heater
Correct article usage
the heater
show examples
 sink cooking the crop with oil. So far it
make
Wrong verb form
has made
show examples
 them
drying
Change the form of the verb
dry
show examples
. Papering the
arrange
Wrong verb form
arranged
show examples
 cups into two paralleling
line
Change to a plural noun
lines
show examples
 adding the vegetables and spices.
Whereas packaging
Correct word choice
Packaging
show examples
 is the
last
 stage, it
provided
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
 the labelling and sealing of
this
 product. the
noodles
 as
flour
 which carried in track. Cooking by using oil
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 drying Before labels packaging in the cups
Submitted by M on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the eighth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words noodles, flour with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "provide" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the eighth paragraph.
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