People nowadays spend their free time less actively than in the past. Do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt that these days more and more
people
have free time
and they spend it in different ways becoming very popular worldwide. However
, the question remains, are people
this
day actively more than in the past in their free time
? is considered one of the most controversial problems today
. This
essay will examine both sides of this
issue and will draw my personal conclusion.
On one hand of the argument, there are people
who believe that the benefits considerably outweigh the disadvantages. One of the main reasons for their support of this
claim is that today
most people
spend their free time
at home watching TV, sleeping and playing few
sports. In fact, sitting at home after a hard day Correct article usage
a few
gives
Verb problem
makes
people
feel comfortable and relaxed. Furthermore
, setting
and doing nothing Correct your spelling
sitting
that makes
all stressVerb problem
removed
removed
. Verb problem
apply
Also
, see the Internet and programmes
on phones that are what Replace the word
programs
people
do today
. A study published at New York University in 2015 concluded that around 70% of young people
prefer to spend their free time
at home without doing any activities just watching movies and social media. Thus
, that’s why some people
think that people
nowadays are less active in their free time
.
On the other hand
, it is also
possible to say that in the past people
had a hard life because they did not have any transport that made them more active. In other words
, people
in the past loved to play, work a new things and do some sports in their free time
. For example
, my granddad told me they were in the 1970s waiting for free time
to play football and farm.
In conclusion, after a careful analysis of viewpoints, I believe that people
in past spent their free time
more actively than people
today
due to
people
thinking about their comfort and relaxation.Submitted by taqwaalsakiti on
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task response
Your introduction should more directly address the prompt instead of presenting it as a controversial issue without stating your position. A clearer thesis statement is needed.
coherence cohesion
Your main body paragraphs should have a clearer topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument or explanation. Include transition words to improve the logical flow.
task response
To increase your score, ensure your essay has a logical conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position on the topic coherently.
task response
You should develop your main points with more focused and elaborated arguments, supported by specific and relevant examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to vary your sentence structures and use a range of linking words to demonstrate an ability to use cohesive devices effectively.
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