Being a celebrity, such as a famous film star or sports personality, brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?
Being a famous celebrity, like a movie star or an athlete, brings drawbacks
as well as
advantages. Although
earning huge amounts of money brings numerous benefits to celebrities, I believe that the lack of privacy is a major problem that outweighs this
benefit.
To begin
, being renowned among the general public brings a range of financial rewards. As well as
high salaries a popular person also
can be sponsored by different brands including food and clothes markets. For example
, most of the well-known extreme sportsmen, such
as BMX cyclists and snowboarders, receive free types of equipment and clothes for them to wear and advertise a particular brand. This
type of financial reward provides individuals with a comfortable lifestyle and security. However
, as more famous a person is, as less privacy they and even their relatives possess.
On the other hand
, media and the print press play a major role in celebrities' lives, which brings pressure and stress. Firstly
, when people are consistently recorded by cameras, even without permission, it negatively affects personal relationships with friends and family. Secondly
, the yellow press often publishes fake information about famous couples, causing trust issues and jealousy between them. For instance
, after the sensational breakup of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, people started hating the new girlfriend, further
wife, Hailey Bieber, posting an enormous amount of fake negative comments along with
criticism.
In conclusion, even though being renowned provides financial stability and security, a huge amount of comments and criticism brings pressure and discomfort for
these people. In my opinion, it is essential to understand that fame can lead to a loss of normal everyday experiences and can create a disconnect between the real world and regular society.Change preposition
to
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear overall progression of ideas throughout the essay. While your essay demonstrates a logical structure and clear progression, there is still room for improvement in the seamless transitions between paragraphs and the internal cohesion within them. Consider employing a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques to enhance the flow of information.
task achievement
While you have addressed the task and provided relevant examples, aim to develop your main points more fully. Expand on the ideas by discussing implications, comparing contrasting viewpoints, or considering the benefits and problems in a broader social or cultural context. This could enhance the depth of your analysis and provide a more nuanced response to the prompt.