Being a celebrity, such as a famous film star or sports personality, brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

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Being a famous celebrity, like a movie star or an athlete, brings drawbacks

as well as

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advantages.

Although

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earning huge amounts of money brings numerous benefits to celebrities, I believe that the lack of privacy is a major problem that outweighs

this

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benefit.

To begin

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, being renowned among the general public brings a range of financial rewards.

As well as

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high salaries a popular person

also

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can be sponsored by different brands including food and clothes markets.

For example

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, most of the well-known extreme sportsmen,

such

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as BMX cyclists and snowboarders, receive free types of equipment and clothes for them to wear and advertise a particular brand.

This

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type of financial reward provides individuals with a comfortable lifestyle and security.

However

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, as more famous a person is, as less privacy they and even their relatives possess.

On the other hand

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, media and the print press play a major role in celebrities' lives, which brings pressure and stress.

Firstly

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, when people are consistently recorded by cameras, even without permission, it negatively affects personal relationships with friends and family.

Secondly

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, the yellow press often publishes fake information about famous couples, causing trust issues and jealousy between them.

For instance

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, after the sensational breakup of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, people started hating the new girlfriend,

further

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wife, Hailey Bieber, posting an enormous amount of fake negative comments

along with

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criticism. In conclusion, even though being renowned provides financial stability and security, a huge amount of comments and criticism brings pressure and discomfort

for

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these people. In my opinion, it is essential to understand that fame can lead to a loss of normal everyday experiences and can create a disconnect between the real world and regular society.

innakireeva0101Tue Dec 12 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear overall progression of ideas throughout the essay. While your essay demonstrates a logical structure and clear progression, there is still room for improvement in the seamless transitions between paragraphs and the internal cohesion within them. Consider employing a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques to enhance the flow of information.

task achievement

While you have addressed the task and provided relevant examples, aim to develop your main points more fully. Expand on the ideas by discussing implications, comparing contrasting viewpoints, or considering the benefits and problems in a broader social or cultural context. This could enhance the depth of your analysis and provide a more nuanced response to the prompt.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Public scrutiny
Intrusive
Endorsements
Sponsorships
Financial security
High-profile collaborations
Social influence
Philanthropic efforts
Trust issues
Mental health challenges
Substance abuse
Pressures of celebrity
Expectations
Disconnect from reality
Normalcy

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Being a celebrity, such as a famous film star or sports personality, brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Nowadays people research their family history, some people say this is useless and we should instead focus on present and future generations. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

More and more people are shifting to a plant based diet. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Computers and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative change?