people living in large cities have to face many problems in every day life. what are those problems? should governmentencourge people to move to regional town? Give reasons for your answer and include any relavant examples from your knowledge?
While
living in large cities
provides wider
range of convenience, study and job opportunities for Add an article
a wider
people
, it does brings
Change the verb form
bring
brings
problems to their daily life Remove the redundancy
apply
such
as high living cost
and Fix the agreement mistake
costs
pollutions
. For decades, more and more Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
people
move
to big Wrong verb form
have moved
cities
which leads
to unbalanced development in different parts of Wrong verb form
has led
country
. Add an article
the country
Thus
, government
should encourage Add an article
the government
people
to move
to regional towns
in order to develop these areas
as well as
to reduce the density of population
in big Correct article usage
the population
cities
.
The first issue of living in busy cities
is that the citizents
have to pay higher costs for living Correct your spelling
citizens
compares
with smaller Wrong verb form
compared
cities
. For instance
, housings
in major Fix the agreement mistake
housing
cities
are
usually small in size and way too expensive to buy or rent Correct subject-verb agreement
is
as a result
of crowded
population. Some Correct article usage
the crowded
people
decide to buy houses in surrounding areas
as they can not afford to purchase a
uptown house. Change the article
an
Besides
that, pollutions
is a common problem Change the noun form
pollution
of
big Change preposition
in
cities
. With high
Add an article
the high
a high
amount
of fuel Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
emmision
from vehicles and production activities from manufacturers, crowded Correct your spelling
emission
emissions
cities
Change the noun form
city
residences
Replace the word
residents
less
likely to intake fresh air condition, which causes illness related to breathing. Despite Add a missing verb
are less
of
health concerns and high living costs, large Change preposition
apply
cities
are still attractive, especially to young people
.
Many governments have been working on development plans such
as building infrastructures, Correct word choice
and residental
residental
Correct your spelling
residential
areas
and allocating economic investments in regional towns
in order to attract more people
to move
here. More and more companies shift thier
manufacturers to these Correct your spelling
their
areas
, then
more jobs are created for people
to enable the growth of small towns
. On the other hand
, the more people
stay and work at
their home Change preposition
in
cities
, the less
Change the quantifier
fewer
people
move
to larger ones for living, thus
, overwhelming
Correct article usage
the overwhelming
in
population of big Change preposition
apply
cities
is reduced.
In conclusion, living in large cities
has
is expensive and unhealthy Unnecessary verb
apply
due to
pollutions
. Governments should encourage their citizens to shift from major Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
cities
to smaller towns
for potential and balanced growth of
all Change preposition
in
parrts
of the country.Correct your spelling
parts
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coherence cohesion
Your essay shows effort in addressing the task, but there is room for improvement in both coherence and cohesion as well as task achievement. The essay structure needs to be more logical with clearer and smoother transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
You successfully introduced the topic and concluded the essay. However, there is repetition and the conclusion could be stronger and more succinct to emphasize the key points.
coherence cohesion
Main points were mentioned, but the supporting details and examples are not fully developed or entirely convincing. Be sure to provide clear examples or evidence to support each argument you make.
task achievement
Your response covers the topic and generally addresses the task. However, the response is not entirely complete, and it is suggested that you address all parts of the task equally.
task achievement
Your ideas are understandable, but the clarity and articulation of concepts could be enhanced to produce a more compelling argument.
task achievement
The use of relevant specific examples is good, but you can enhance your essay by incorporating a wider range of more in-depth examples from personal, historical, or current events.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
