Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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In recent years, there have been numerous people arguing
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
companies
Use synonyms
that
used
Wrong verb form
use
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advertising to reach wide audiences
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
good. On the other side, they think it will
give
Verb problem
have
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negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
impact
especailly
Correct your spelling
especially
in
sports
Use synonyms
. I agree to some extent because it will bring numerous positives to
companies
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,
however
Linking Words
, having a lot of sponsorship could disturb
Use synonyms
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
show examples
team
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's focus and bring negative impacts to the
team
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. There are several advantages to support
this
Linking Words
statement.
Companies
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who
are benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
the most in
this
Linking Words
situation
which it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can help to boost their product sales.
Companies
Use synonyms
use
sports
Use synonyms
sponsorship to gain wide audiences, improve their brand visibility, and align their products with the positive image of
sports
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, sponsorship
also
Linking Words
give
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gives
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financial backing that can help
sports
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team
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to keep continuing.
In addition
Linking Words
, athletes will have
broaden
Wrong verb form
broadened
show examples
opportunities in their future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
when they are
are got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
exposed
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
good
companies
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, being exposed
with
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to
show examples
comercial
Correct your spelling
commercial
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
would detract from the
enjoymemnt
Correct your spelling
enjoyment
of
sports
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fans and alter the focus from the sport to the brands.
In addition
Linking Words
,
companies
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will use
sports
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sponsorships to cover the negatives in their business and it can bring disadvantages to
sports
Use synonyms
teams in the future.
For example
Linking Words
, if
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
show examples
products are not
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfying
show examples
enough
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
customers, the company would use
sports
Use synonyms
to boost their
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
, because they know their fans would purchase everything that their idol used. In conclusion, there are benefits and drawbacks in
this
Linking Words
situation. In my opinion, having
sponsor
Add an article
a sponsor
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
can help
sports
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
team's
Fix the agreement mistake
teams'
show examples
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
, and they
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
exposed in the commercial market,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
it
also
Linking Words
can bring negatives impact if there
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
many
sporsors
Correct your spelling
sponsors
.
Submitted by gladysdharmawan1994 on

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structure
Your essay lacks a clear structure, making it challenging to follow. Ensure you have a proper introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, with each paragraph having a clear central idea.
clarity
Work on the clarity of your ideas. Make sure each paragraph follows on logically from the last, with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
task response
In your response, you need to ensure that you address all parts of the task. This includes discussing both viewpoints thoroughly and providing a clear opinion. While you attempted to do this, more detailed development and relevant examples were needed to support your points effectively.
coherence
Your coherence would benefit from better use of cohesive devices and transition words to guide the reader from one idea to another more seamlessly.
specific examples
Include more specific examples to illustrate and support your points. Vague references make your argument less persuasive and your essay will benefit from concrete examples that relate closely to the points you are making.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sponsorship
  • Visibility
  • Brand alignment
  • Financial backing
  • Commercialization
  • Authenticity
  • Advertisements
  • Corporate presence
  • Ethical considerations
  • Bias
  • Mainstream
  • Neglecting
  • Technological advancements
  • Innovation
What to do next:
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