Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that this is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Complementary
medicine
has become more popular in recent years. An increasing number of the populace with health issues which
are seeking Correct pronoun usage
apply
any
easier methods Correct quantifier usage
apply
instead
of scientifically proven medical treatment. In my view, this
phenomenon is highly dangerous.
To begin
with, a large number of people prefer to rely on simplified theories or even their own experiences. For instance
, drinking some herbal tea helps to get over different diseases like headache
or diabetes or eating roots of some plants can improve digestion. One of the reasons Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
of
Change preposition
for
this
trend is relative cheapness and a rational
familiar to many people is that our ancestors did not have pills but were healthy and active. Correct your spelling
rationale
Furthermore
, there is a belief that non-traditional medicine
doesn’t contain any side effect
that taking ordinary drugs may have.
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
On the contrary
, not treating diseases properly can lead to serious health problems. For example
, some not significant symptoms at first glance such
as fatigue and decreased appetite may be the cause of encephalitis. Moreover
, nowadays every new pill goes through many stages of research and modification, every
doctor spends a lot of years in university Correct word choice
and every
for
the Change preposition
apply
getting
Wrong verb form
get
high
level of knowledge. The main goal of Correct article usage
a high
medicine
is protect
and treat people with the minimum of harm.
In conclusion, the advantages of alternative Fix the infinitive
to protect
medicine
are that they have less
side effects but Change the quantifier
fewer
in
the same time it doesn’t have enough justifications Change preposition
at
how
it treats and it Change preposition
for how
not
always solve health problems. Because of Add a missing verb
does not
it
making an appointment with a qualified doctor should be considered a necessity.Correct pronoun usage
this
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task achievement
The essay does not adequately address the question posed in the topic, as it deviates to discussing the dangers of alternative medicine rather than the comparative parenting capabilities of men and women. It fails to provide a clear viewpoint on the original topic, leading to an incomplete response.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logic and structure of the argument. Introduction and conclusion are present, but they are not entirely focused on the essay topic. To enhance coherence and cohesion, utilize topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs that directly relate to the thesis, and employ transition words to smoothly connect ideas.