Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that this is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

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Complementary

medicine

Use synonyms

has become more popular in recent years. An increasing number of the populace with health issues

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are seeking

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

easier methods

instead

Linking Words

of scientifically proven medical treatment. In my view,

this

Linking Words

phenomenon is highly dangerous.

To begin

Linking Words

with, a large number of people prefer to rely on simplified theories or even their own experiences.

For instance

Linking Words

, drinking some herbal tea helps to get over different diseases like

headache

Fix the agreement mistake

headaches

show examples

or diabetes or eating roots of some plants can improve digestion. One of the reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Linking Words

trend is relative cheapness and a

rational

Correct your spelling

rationale

show examples

familiar to many people is that our ancestors did not have pills but were healthy and active.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, there is a belief that non-traditional

medicine

Use synonyms

doesn’t contain any side

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

that taking ordinary drugs may have.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, not treating diseases properly can lead to serious health problems.

For example

Linking Words

, some not significant symptoms at first glance

such

Linking Words

as fatigue and decreased appetite may be the cause of encephalitis.

Moreover

Linking Words

, nowadays every new pill goes through many stages of research and modification,

every

Correct word choice

and every

show examples

doctor spends a lot of years in university

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

getting

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

level of knowledge. The main goal of

medicine

Use synonyms

protect

Fix the infinitive

to protect

show examples

and treat people with the minimum of harm. In conclusion, the advantages of alternative

medicine

Use synonyms

are that they have

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

side effects but

Change preposition

show examples

the same time it doesn’t have enough justifications

how

Change preposition

for how

show examples

it treats and it

not

Add a missing verb

does not

show examples

always solve health problems. Because of

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

making an appointment with a qualified doctor should be considered a necessity.

dulskyworkTue Dec 12 2023

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task achievement

The essay does not adequately address the question posed in the topic, as it deviates to discussing the dangers of alternative medicine rather than the comparative parenting capabilities of men and women. It fails to provide a clear viewpoint on the original topic, leading to an incomplete response.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logic and structure of the argument. Introduction and conclusion are present, but they are not entirely focused on the essay topic. To enhance coherence and cohesion, utilize topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs that directly relate to the thesis, and employ transition words to smoothly connect ideas.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

nurturing
paternal
maternal
gender roles
instincts
stereotypes
child-rearing
co-parenting
feminism
egalitarian
caregiver
empathy
bonding
support system
parental leave
role model
attachment
emotional intelligence
custody
household dynamics

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