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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

The pie charts show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.
#show #household #expenditures #japan #malaysia #year
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The pie charts illustrate the average household spending in two different countries, namely
Japan
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, in the period from January to December 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the charts that healthcare expenditure made up the lowest percentage.
However
Linking Words
, people in the two nations spent most of their money on housing, food, and other goods and services. In
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, housing expenditures occupied the highest proportion of total expenditures, at 34%,
while
Linking Words
 in
Japan
Use synonyms
, that figure was 21%.
Japan
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 had the highest percentage of expenditure on other goods and services at 29%, higher than that
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
Malaysia
Use synonyms
,
just
Change preposition
by just
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 under a quarter. The rate of money spent on food in
Malaysia
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 ranked second among all categories, with 27%,
while
Linking Words
 that figure in
Japan
Use synonyms
 stood at 24%. It is interesting to note that the proportion of transport in
Japan
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 was twice as high as in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
. Healthcare expenditure accounted for 3% and 6% in both nations, which was the lowest number on the charts.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, malaysia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household expenditures
  • proportion
  • cultural differences
  • economic differences
  • living standards
  • real estate market
  • public transportation
  • private transportation
  • infrastructure
  • government healthcare policies
  • quality of life
  • holistic view
  • inflation
  • economic growth
  • societal norms
  • globalization
  • communication expenses
  • education expenses
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