Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In
this
day and age, teaching children
is always an important problem and there are a lot of different opinions about it. Some individuals say that permitting kids
to make decisions about every issue is to create a society of people who only have thought about their own desires. Others argue that it is vital for kids
to decide about issues that impact them. The following essay will discuss both views.
To begin
with, some citizens believe that a society of people who only care about their wishes comes from allowing children
to decide all things
in their lives. It is easy to understand because if a kid can do all the things
he wants, it will create a habit that he only wishes and all things
will appear, he does not need to know where they come from, so he only cares about his favour. For example
, when a kid wants to buy a toy, his parents
always agree. So several times, he will ask his parents
to buy a bigger thing that his parents
cannot afford and then
they can not do it, he will become angry and will not care about his parents
' emotions.
However
, making choices about which affects kids
is very crucial for them due to
it will help them feel more comfortable and confident. When doing things
that they are adorable, they will feel happy and reduce stress after school. For instance
, a little girl wants her parents
to allow her to wear a skirt and go out with her friends and they agree. It will help her feel merry when she can be herself and put on her favourite skirt and going out with her friends can help her have a wonderful time after completing her study.
In conclusion, many people do not want children
to decide all things
because it can make them become selfish. However
, making decisions is still necessary for kids
because it affects them very much. In my point of view, I think children
should be allowed to choose their favourite things
so that they can tackle bigger problems in the future.Submitted by duongntt.tld on
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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, but there are areas for improvement. Consider discussing the perspectives more evenly; the second viewpoint could be expanded slightly for balance.
task achievement
Adding more concrete examples to support each viewpoint would help to strengthen your arguments. Use examples that clearly illustrate the impact of the choices children make.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to your sentence structures and grammar. While they do not significantly obscure the meaning, there are moments where clarity could be improved.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance your argument and overall writing style.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both viewpoints clearly and provides a conclusion that summarizes the discussion effectively.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples, particularly in the first viewpoint, to illustrate your points, which makes your argument more persuasive.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?