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Band 2

The process diagram details the steps by which liquid chocolcate is produced from cocoa beans.

#process #steps #chocolcate #cocoa #beans
The given process illustrates the stages of how liquid chocolate is made from cocoa
beans
.
Overall
, the process consists of ten stages, beginning
from
Change preposition
with
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 ripping the red pods from trees and
finally
, ending with the machine, where the inner part of
beans
Correct article usage
the beans
show examples
 will be pressed.
The first step is
 ripe rep pods from trees, which can be found in South America, Africa and Indonesia. Ripped pods will be cut and small white cocoa
beans
 will be harvested from them. After that, they will be fermented and
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
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 in the sun to dry. Dried
beans
became
Wrong verb form
become
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 brown and they will be put in large different sacks and will be transported by trains and lorries to the factory. In the
factory
Add a comma
factory,
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beans
 will be roasted in the heat even at 350 degrees. In the following
stage
Add a comma
stage,
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 they will be put in a machine, where
beans
 will be crushed and outer shells will be removed.
Finally
,
crushed
Correct article usage
the crushed
show examples
beans
’s inner part will be pressed and turned into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
liquid chocolate.
Submitted by forcookiearu on

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coherence cohesion
You have demonstrated a fair understanding of the process, but your essay can significantly improve with the use of more complex sentences and a variety of linking words to enhance flow and coherence. Consider creating clear and distinct paragraphs for each major stage of the process.
task achievement
Your response covers the basic requirements of the task, but more detailed explanations and a clearer progression of ideas through the process would improve your mark. Avoid repetitions and be sure to differentiate each step with precise language and transitions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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