IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Detailed descriptions of crimes on newspaper and TV can have bad consequences on society, so this kind of information should be restricted on media. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#descriptions #crimes #newspaper #tv #consequences #society #information #media
In today’s
society
, many detailed
crime
descriptions
 flood newspapers and TV. In my opinion,
although
 the dissemination could lead to negative influences on
society
, an outright ban on
this
 kind of
information
 should not be imposed on
mass
media
 altogether. It is beyond doubt that massive
descriptions
 of crimes in detail can have negative influences on
society
.
Firstly
,
this
 can be detrimental to children's growth.
This
 is because the details of
crime
 normally carry numerous questionable contents, including bloodiness and violence, and are considerably widespread through
mass
media
 like newspapers and TV on a repetitive basis, which
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 adverse impacts on children’s growth in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long run.
Secondly
, the broad exposure of
crime
descriptions
 in
mass
media
 may potentially result in youth
crime
.
This
 is because
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
teenagers might be vulnerable to
imitate
Wrong verb form
imitating
show examples
 negative
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 from what they have seen
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
.
For example
, the popularity of a series of gangster movies titled “Gu Huozai” caused many teenagers to imitate the plots of the movie, becoming gang members to do many illegal things
such
 as theft and robbery.
Therefore
,
crime
 details in
mass
media
 do have bad consequences on our
society
.
However
, taking into account the aforementioned viewpoints does not necessarily yield an absolute conclusion that
this
 kind of
information
 should be forbidden in
media
 for all. Acknowledging the latest criminal means through newspapers and TV could warn people to be precautionary, as a large number of people get
information
 from the platform of
media
. So appropriate dissemination must be allowed. In conclusion, it is undeniable that detailed
crime
descriptions
 in
mass
media
 may have bad effects on
society
.
However
, it does not inherently guarantee an indisputable view that we should restrict
such
information
 altogether.
Submitted by yangx on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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