There are those who claim that big cities are much suitable places for adolescence to live in. Do you agree or disagree?
Teenager
period is considered the golden period of life Replace the word
Teenage
while
all the prosperous
and Replace the word
prosperity
amenities
should be needed. Some claim that Cities are better
choice for Add an article
a better
the better
adolescence
to grow up Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
instead
of the rural places
. I strongly agree with this
statement. This
essay shall discuss why I agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
this
.
To begin
with, metropolitan places
have all the advanced facilities to enhance teenager's life such
as advanced education. Cities have the best school with the
modernised laboratory facilities, smart Correct article usage
apply
classroom
, Fix the agreement mistake
classrooms
Correct word choice
and plentyof
plentyof
course choices under Correct your spelling
plenty of
the
one roof, Correct article usage
apply
therefore
, adolescent can get the best quality of education and this
will enhance the
career Change the word
their
opprtunities
in Correct your spelling
opportunities
their
future. Change the word
the
For example
, the
Mumbai state of India, most families have migrated from Change preposition
in the
village
to Correct article usage
the village
this
place for their younger genertaion's
future sake because all the Correct your spelling
generation's
generations
amenities
are locate
there. Recreational facilities Change the verb form
are located
also
have in town
Add a hyphen
in-town
location
, the younger people like to enjoy some Fix the agreement mistake
locations
entertainment-based
on Correct your spelling
entertainment based
amenities
are over there. Therefore
, urban places
are the best choice for youth.
Moreover
, multinational and corporate companies are only in cities and their business is assosiated
Correct your spelling
associated
in
metropolitan locations. When teens live in Change preposition
with
the
urban venue Correct article usage
an
while
she or he might get the job Correct word choice
apply
opprtunity
in Correct your spelling
opportunity
interntaional
companies because there are Correct your spelling
international
numrous
chances are spilled on the floor only in urbanised Correct your spelling
numerous
places
. For instance
, communication skills is
needed to get Change the verb form
are
the
job in Correct article usage
a
inteernational
enterprises, city Correct your spelling
international
provide
all the Change the verb form
provides
amenities
even language courses and classes too
. There is no Rephrase
apply
needed
to learn any new skills Replace the word
need
besides
city places
because all available
in one location.
Add a missing verb
are available
To conclude
, urbanised locations have plenty of career chances for adolescents and they can get the best quality of education over there. Recreational amenities
along with
big enterprises are located in metropolitan places
. Therefore
, I strongly agree with this
statement in the above-mentione
Correct your spelling
above-mentioned
ddetails
. Correct your spelling
details
This
trend drives more benefits to society.Submitted by reanudeepan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your introduction did not set up the argument effectively. A clear thesis statement is missing, which should express your agreement or disagreement with the assertion in question. It's essential to clearly state your position on the topic in the essay, ideally in your introduction, so that the reader knows what to expect in the following paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay's logical structure is weak; ideas need to be organized more systematically. Paragraphs should be distinctly structured, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea, supported by specific examples or explanations, and linked logically to the following paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Main points are not sufficiently developed with relevant examples, and evidence is sparse. Each main point must be fully expanded with clear arguments and examples to support your ideas. Increased specificity will improve the essay's impact and persuasiveness.
task achievement
The examples provided to support arguments are insufficiently relevant or developed. Make sure that each example is directly connected to the point it is intended to illustrate, and elaborate on how it supports your argument. Include more detailed, context-specific examples to strengthen your essay.