The flow chart below shows the process of waste paper recycling
Nowadays, families have been affected by
the
social evolution, some Correct article usage
apply
fathers
prefer taking care of their children while
the mothers work
. There are several reasons to explain this
, which we will discuss.
A different approach to work
has seen the world recently. One of the major reasons are
changes in the societies that have greatly impacted the family ideal of the working father and the mother who stays at home. As time goes by, Correct subject-verb agreement
is
a
social consciousness has been rising in today’s world societies, Remove the article
apply
by
Change preposition
apply
thus
provoking multiple changes in people’s vision on
things, like Change preposition
of
on
Change preposition
apply
labor
in Change the spelling
labour
this
case. Therefore
, more women decide to fight against the old women
vision that we haveChange noun form
women's
,
and begin to Remove the comma
apply
work
even as a
Correct article usage
apply
mother
, Fix the agreement mistake
mothers
as well as
fathers
that
stop working to dedicate themselves to their children.
I believe that Correct pronoun usage
who
this
development has been positive. Firstly
, now people are freer to do what they want if
it is staying at home or having a labor. Correct word choice
whether
This
change
in people’s life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
also
benefits the fathers
that
can now spend more time with them and enjoy their childhood. Correct pronoun usage
who
Secondly
, this
is an important victory in the feminist movement: now they are no longer seen as simple housewives but occupy the same place as men in this
society and more precisely in the workplace. For example
, to illustrate that this
change
is important, we can see that in some emerging countries which have not experienced this
change
that
the situation is unbelievably bad for women like in Palestine where they do not have the right to Correct word choice
apply
work
.
To sum up
, there has been an evolution that has marked our living environment, that of mothers who work
more and fathers
who decide to stay at home. This
is explained by the fight for women’s rights as well as
men who evolve on their part and this
development has had a positive impact. Given this
, this
change
will continue to increase for a few years.Submitted by santos_dij on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fathers, work, change with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "explain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stays" was used 2 times.
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