In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Providing a home for yourself as one of the most vital needs of life, always is a crucial goal to achieve for humankind. In recent decades,
this
issue has become more serious as the result of some economic instabilities, especially in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing countries. In
this
essay, I will examine some reasons behind it and introduce my opinion.
Firstly
, it is widely believed that economic fluctuation always
threats
Verb problem
threatens
show examples
life expenses and our plans to fulfil them
such
as accommodation. To build upon my point a little more, facing various ranges of prices for one specific product or facility in a short period of time is the most significant repercussion of the mentioned problem.
For instance
, if the price of a
house
is 3000 dollars today, it could be increased twice times in
months
Fix the agreement mistake
month
show examples
later.
However
, workforce wages would still stay the same.
In addition
, renting a
house
makes a constant interruption in our life as regards finding a new place to occupy or struggling with the rising prices of renting and how to provide the needed money.
Consequently
, it is affordable for people trying to buy their
house
as soon as possible
instead
of renting it. As far as I'm concerned, there are countries in which people especially the youth can not own a
house
as a result
of low income and economic instability. In
this
situation, the prospect of having your own accommodation is impossible and only has intolerable pressure on individuals. But, if there is not
this
issue in a country, who would like to always be on
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
move and face with problems that come with renting a home as introduced in the previous paragraph ?! To put it in a nutshell,
although
buying a
house
of your own needs time and serious
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
or work to achieve it, it can be much more affordable and advantageous in the long term.
Submitted by shabnamoutokesh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Ensure that you have a clear thesis statement at the end of your introduction and a summarising conclusion, restating your main points. Both were generally present but could be more explicit.
supported main points
Your essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, signalling to the reader the main idea to be discussed.
logical structure
To maintain a logical structure, consider planning your essay before writing. This will help keep your arguments well-organized and on topic.
complete response
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt fully. While you have offered some explanations, they could be expanded to provide more depth and detail.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for clarity in expressing your ideas. Using simpler language more correctly may be more effective than complex usage which leads to errors.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples to support your points. This adds credibility to your argument and makes your essay more convincing.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!