The diagrams below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

#diagrams #show #park #first

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The provided charts display the map of Grange Park currently compared to the opening condition in 1920.

Overall

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, both diagrams share the main features or attractions of the park at different times.

While

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there have been many upgrades since 1920

such

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as the amphitheatre replacing the stage for superior music performance, it still preserves the rose gardens and even puts one of them in the centre.

In addition

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to that, there are new services like a cafe and a playing area for children to improve everyone's experience and enjoyment. In 1920, there were 2 entrances to the garden, from Arnold Avenue and Eldon Street, and the fountain would be the first thing they could see because it was located in the heart of the plaza. On one

side

Use synonyms

of the park, there was a stage provided for musicians to play in between 2 rose plazas.

Additionally

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, there were 4 benches distributed around there for people to enjoy the show or just to stretch their legs. On the other

side

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, there was another rose garden, a seat, a greenhouse, and a pond for water plants. Fast forward to today, the fountain is being replaced with

big

Correct article usage

a big

show examples

rose garden and 4 seats around it.

In addition

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, the stage was

also

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replaced with an amphitheatre and

this

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change

also

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removed one of the rose gardens and all of the benches from

this

Linking Words

side

Use synonyms

. The other

side

Use synonyms

looks very different compared to before, where there are new installations of a water feature, a cafe, and a children's recreational area.

Submitted by gurunnevada on Tue Dec 12 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, in addition".

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words side with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

transformation
developments
modifications
landscaping
recreational needs
enhance
functionality
vegetation
environmental conservation
infrastructure improvements
community involvement
diverse groups
outdoor activities
environmental stewardship

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The diagrams below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?”

At present times, the population of some countries include a relative number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages?

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Nowadays you can find instructional videos for just about any crime you can think of. What possible effects can this have on individuals and society? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.