Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person

Some societies think that getting an achievement is about having
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
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money and various materials. Even though, many aspects of
people
are honoured as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
successful
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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. I ensure that there is
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
way to be regarded as successful. I believe that money is not always a primary indicator of
a
Remove the article
apply
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success
.
For instance
, a man who
liable
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is liable
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to
executing
Wrong verb form
execute
show examples
several tasks in their job can be taught as a successful
person
, because he can handle
many
Correct quantifier usage
more
show examples
problems than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others.
As a result
, other employees may considerably reward
this
person
as a successful employee because he will get higher responsibility and
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
position
since
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for
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his outstanding performance.
Therefore
, being serious in working can be taught as a
success
. There is a perspective that
considering
Wrong verb form
considers
show examples
people
as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
successful
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Firstly
, a smart
person
who can communicate effortlessly
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a chance to become a successful
person
. Not only by their knowledge, but they can
also
attract
people
by persuading them to hear what their idea is. In a seminar;
For example
, the reason why
people
want to join a seminar
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
a speaker of
those event
Change the determiner
that event
those events
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. Society believes that joining a seminar can be fruitful because they will hear about a certain knowledge brought by the speaker.
Moreover
, they may known as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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rich
people
outside the event, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
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is not the reason why
people
admire
Correct pronoun usage
admire them
show examples
. Generally;
thus
,
clever
Correct article usage
a clever
show examples
society can be taught as a
success
. In conclusion, the community usually determines money as an important factor of
success
.
However
, some successful stories
written
Add a missing verb
were written
show examples
with
other event
Change the wording
another event
other events
show examples
. I believe that
successful
Replace the word
success
show examples
is about how to maintain certain liabilities both in the industrial neighbourhood and
citizen’s
Change preposition
in citizen’s
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life. Other societies
also
determine achievement can
be obtain
Change the verb form
be obtained
show examples
by becoming a smart
person
.
Submitted by re.li on

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Coherence/Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction directly addresses the essay question with a clear stance and establish a thesis statement that guides the reader on your perspective on wealth and success. The conclusion should restate your main points and firmly cement your argument.
Coherence/Cohesion
Organize your ideas into clear, logical paragraphs with topic sentences. Transition smoothly between sentences and paragraphs to guide readers through your argument. Use a variety of linking words effectively to improve the flow.
Coherence/Cohesion
Develop each main point with detailed explanations and relevant examples. Make sure each paragraph has one clear main idea and support it with evidence.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the prompt. The response should fully answer the question of whether wealth is the best measure of success and what makes a person successful. Provide an in-depth exploration of your position on success without diverting into tangential discussions.
Task Achievement
Present ideas clearly and elaborate on them comprehensively. Avoid vague or general statements by explaining your points in depth. Use specific examples to substantiate your arguments.
Task Achievement
Use examples that are directly relevant to your argument about success. The examples should clearly illustrate the point you are making and be specific enough to support your thesis effectively.
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