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Writing Samples
Band 8

The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph displays the numbers of
incidents
Use synonyms
 and
injuries
Use synonyms
 for every 100 million passenger miles travelled on five different types of public transport in 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, most
incidents
Use synonyms
 and
injuries
Use synonyms
 took place on demand-respond vehicles.
By contrast
Linking Words
, commuter
rail
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 recorded by far the lowest figures. A total of 225
incidents
Use synonyms
 and 173
injuries
Use synonyms
, per 100 million passenger miles travelled, took place on demand-respond transport service. These figures were nearly three times as high as those for the second highest category, bus
services
Use synonyms
. There were 76
incidents
Use synonyms
 and 66 people were injured on buses.
Rail
Use synonyms
services
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 experienced fewer problems. The number of
incidents
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 on light
rail
Use synonyms
 trains equalled the figure recorded for buses, but there were significantly fewer
injuries
Use synonyms
, at only 39. Heavy
rail
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 saw a lower number of
incidents
Use synonyms
 than light
rail
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
, but the figure of
injuries
Use synonyms
 was nearly equal to those for light
rail
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
. Commuter
rail
Use synonyms
 passengers were even less likely to experience problems, in fact, only 20
incidents
Use synonyms
 and 17
injuries
Use synonyms
 occurred on commuter trains.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words incidents, injuries, rail, services with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "numbers of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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