The chart below shows the level of mathematics graduates and all alumni, who found a full day's line of work after moving on from a college in Australia, and in addition to the generals of both types of graduates from 2004 to 2012 Compensation shown. And think about choosing the main highlights and declaring where applicable.

#level #mathematics #graduates #alumni #line #work #college #australia #addition #generals #compensation

The given diagram and table provide quantitative data about the percentage of full workers holding a university degree and the average salary, between Australian college mathematics graduates and all

alumni

, from 2004 to 2012.

Overall

, the line chart compares the portion of

math

degree holders to all, on a 2-year basis,

in addition

to the table that does the same but for the average compensation. For the observed 8 years, the

math

degree holders performed better than general

alumni

in finding a full day's line of work.

Furthermore

, the same group averaged higher salaries starting from 2008 to 2012. In 2004, approximately 64% of Australian college

alumni

found full-day work,

while

math

graduates did it better at 80%. Despite expanding for the next 4 years around 10% to 25%, both populations recorded the same percentage in 2012. From the salary perspective,

math

grads averaged the same take-home pay with

overall

alumni

in 2004 and 2006, respectively at

USD

41k and USD43k.

However

, for the next 6 years, the salary of

math

graduates increased from

USD

15K to

USD

56K in 2012 compared to all

alumni

USD

51K.

Submitted by gurunnevada on Tue Dec 12 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words alumni, math, usd, k with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

188 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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