Studying abroad can be highly motivational for students and also inspire their dreams. However, whilst studying abroad can have a number of positive effects on students, there are also many difficulties that they may meet along the way. With this in mind, it is more advantageous to study at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer.
Some people argue that despite of benefits students can get when studying abroad, it
also
has the opposite effects along with
their journeys there so that
it is better to Correct word choice
apply
study
at home. Based on this
perspective, my notion is contrary to this
issue due to
two related things
: learning new things
and wider the mind.
Fundamentally, the main reason students tend to choose study
overseas Fix the infinitive
to study
because
they want to learn about new Add a missing verb
is because
things
which associated
with wider their minds. People who enter local universities sometimes Add a missing verb
are associated
had
Wrong verb form
have
limitation
in regard to experience because there are not a lot of various Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
things
to deal with. Based on the mentioned explanation, it can be illustrated by how majority
of international students have better adaptation Add an article
the majority
a majority
skill
and communication Fix the agreement mistake
skills
skill
, Fix the agreement mistake
skills
in contrast
to the local
. Fix the agreement mistake
locals
This
is caused by the the diversity of people from different knowldge
that they met Correct your spelling
knowledge
while
studying there. It leads to the
more Correct article usage
a
acknowledgable
attitude and it is clearly shown that Correct your spelling
acknowledgeable
knowledgeable
this
is become
Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
valueable
benefit.
Correct your spelling
valuable
In addition
, I personally think, they change into individuals who respect other view points
because they already know about the reason behind the attitude. If Correct your spelling
viewpoints
their
just focus and play safe (Correct pronoun usage
they
study
at home), they would not have any improvement towards their brains and mentals. That is
why it is better to study
in another country if you have a chance.
In conclusion, eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
study
in Replace the word
studying
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
country
has its own obstacle, it is still considered Fix the agreement mistake
countries
as
beneficial action to be Correct your spelling
a
done
by learners Verb problem
taken
due to
the better experience and mindset. In addition
, I still remained
disagree Add the particle
remained to
of
Change preposition
with
this
matter.Submitted by e.warikar on
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grammar
Be vigilant with your use of 'despite of' as 'despite' alone is more appropriate. The phrase 'wider their minds' is incorrect; it should be 'widen their minds' - remember to use the correct verb form.
structure
The argument could be enhanced by clearer thesis statement and topic sentences that delineate your paragraphs. An essay should ideally follow a clear, logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs that each introduce an idea, support it with evidence, and then conclude the idea, leading to the next paragraph.
coherence
Your essay could benefit greatly from more careful organization. Present ideas in a logical sequence, which includes organizing paragraphs and using linking words effectively (e.g., however, consequently, for example).
development
You attempted to provide examples to support your points, but the examples given are quite generic and lack specificity. Try to give clear, concise examples that directly support your thesis.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.