Sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

For
the
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apply
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survival in
this
world, a
person
needs
house
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a house
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,food and shelter and in all of them,
significant
Add an article
a significant
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role is played by
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
. One handful of people believe that it is a helpful
way
of collecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information
related to any
employee
who is selected for the
job
because it helps the
employer
to know that
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
abilities and
strength
Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
show examples
in their field. Another set of people think that it is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
irrelevant to take any personal
information
may be
such
data may be inaccurate provided by the
employee
just for the sake of
work
. In my opinion, it is right to have it in the
employee
's record. On the one hand, it is a useful
way
to keep the
job
seeker
infomation
Correct your spelling
information
in the record for future use.
However
,
this
is an easy
way
to access any
canadate's
Correct your spelling
candidate's
candidates
interest and know about their personality and
abililty
Correct your spelling
ability
to
work
in that field.
For instance
, if
employer
Add an article
an employer
the employer
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wants to understand the
capabillity
Correct your spelling
capability
of his worker,
then
he has the report
of
Change preposition
apply
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that
person
's
weekness
Correct your spelling
weakness
and strength, which will become a strong point to judge
for
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apply
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the
employee
's
work related
Add a hyphen
work-related
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competence to do it.
Hence
, it helps both
employer
and
job
-seeker to
work
together.
On the other hand
,
such
a system of having any personal
information
related to any worker may be not real, futher
this
all
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apply
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detail
Fix the agreement mistake
details
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may
be
Verb problem
apply
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mislead the
employer
while
giving the title to that
employee
.
For instance
, for the
job
, any
person
put
Correct subject-verb agreement
puts
show examples
wrong
Add an article
the wrong
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information
in their details which will not the best
way
to select that
person
or there may be a chance that
a
Change the article
the
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best
suit
Replace the word
suited
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for the
job
may
be remain
Change the verb form
remain
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umemployed
Correct your spelling
unemployed
.
Therefore
, it is not real
information
provided by
job-seeker
Correct your spelling
job seekers
show examples
.
To conclude
, it is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
way
to know that any
person
who is employed by the company
to know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
about it and it may be just
a not original personal
Remove the article
not original personal information
a piece of not original personal information
show examples
information
, only for
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
matching the requirements. In my opinion, it is the best
way
to know about the
person
who will
work
in any company by the company HR who is selecting that
person
.
Submitted by gs9542529 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a basic level of coherence, with some attempt to organize ideas and information. However, the logical sequence of ideas is not always clear, and sentences sometimes fail to connect in a meaningful way. To improve, focus on creating a more logical structure that clearly guides the reader from one point to the next. Make use of cohesive devices appropriately, such as linking words and phrases, to better connect your sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Your response generally addresses the task, presenting some relevant ideas concerning the collection of personal information during job applications. However, you need to provide clearer, more comprehensive ideas. Develop your points more fully and provide specific, relevant examples to support your arguments. Additionally, work on staying focused on the task throughout the essay to ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed equally. Clearer paragraphing and more focused idea development will enhance your task response.
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