Nowadays young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in the cities. Why does this happen? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?
Due to
the limited resources and underdeveloped infrastructure, youngsters are relocating from Correct article usage
the countrysides
countrysides
to megapolises in order to attain a profound education and a promising Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
employement
opportunity. As a direct result of Correct your spelling
employment
the
globalization, the members of Correct article usage
apply
young
generation are encountering Add an article
the young
multitude
of impediments, Add an article
a multitude
the multitude
therefore
, I think drawbacks
of Correct article usage
the drawbacks
this
trend will shadow the benefits associated.
Firstly
, it has always proven to be a better strategical
and sustainable development plan to disperse the resources and technologies evenly across the country. Having established Replace the word
strategic
such
a methodology, there will be a
multiple Correct article usage
apply
of
hubs within a country so that juveniles can study and work Change preposition
apply
while
still upholding to
their living Change preposition
apply
areas
. Consequently
, more rural areas
will eventually be isolated since the younger individuals are heading towards mega cities
. Correct your spelling
megacities
For instance
, in many developed countries, the number of villages alongside with
cultural values Change preposition
apply
are
slightly erasing from Correct subject-verb agreement
is
the
history.
The second downside of Correct article usage
apply
this
growing tendency is that people are getting compacted in a densely populated
Correct the article-noun agreement
densely populated areas
a densely populated area
areas
, while
small
percentage of more mature Add an article
a small
group
of people opt to remain in those Fix the agreement mistake
groups
areas
. Such
kind of erratic migration from villages to cities will impact the sectors that are popular in rural areas
, heavily striking farming, agriculture, and tourism sectors since there will be lack
of young people capable of handling these Correct article usage
a lack
forementioned
works.
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
To conclude
, undoubtedly, availability
of moreCorrect article usage
the availability
financal
and social opportunities in cities is the chief culprit that led to Correct your spelling
financial
this
movement. Although
this
might seem like an advantage at the
first sight, it has Correct article usage
apply
devastating
Add an article
a devastating
affect
on the diversity of living spaces Replace the word
effect
as well as
business sectors in villege
Correct your spelling
village
areas
.Submitted by orkhanshamil on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure the logical flow of ideas is clear throughout the essay. Some points may benefit from further clarification or transition phrases.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include an introduction that more clearly addresses the question and sets the tone for the discussion, as well as a conclusion that succinctly summarizes the main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop each main point with strong support. Use examples that are directly relevant to the topic. You may provide real-world examples or hypothetical situations that are clearly related to the topic.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task. Ensure you fully explore why young people move to cities and discuss not only the disadvantages but also the advantages of this development to provide a balanced argument.
Task Achievement
Express ideas clearly and comprehensively. Avoid ambiguous language and make sure each paragraph has a main idea that is expanded upon.
Task Achievement
Include specific examples to illustrate your points and make the essay more convincing. Generic or vague references do not sufficiently demonstrate the validity of the arguments presented.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.