IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

research shows that business meetings and training are happening online nowadays do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
At present, researchers
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that online businesses and
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
 have many benefits in comparison to
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 drawbacks.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I
also
Linking Words
 believe that internet business and training can save our labour and costs,
however
Linking Words
, it will not work when the network is down and I am going to elaborate
both
Change preposition
on both
show examples
 merits and demerits in the
forth coming
Correct your spelling
forthcoming
show examples
 essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, networking businesses can reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
labour and costs,
this
Linking Words
 is clear that humans can do their jobs in their homes
instead
Linking Words
 of travelling to work and meetings.An example to illustrate that would be my native country, 75 per cent of the population
are doing
Wrong verb form
does
show examples
 their business transactions through
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 and at least 25% are those who prefer to pay money for transportation to and from their
working
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
places.
Hence
Linking Words
, transacting on websites will save the capital which people can use in their lives.To add on, human beings,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can not provide more energy if they are practising their gatherings at their homesteads as compared to when they meet in person, since they should wake up early in the morning to catch up the time of graft starts. Despite the advantages of training online, there is one major drawback
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
if the network is down, communication will
also
Linking Words
breakdown
Correct your spelling
break down
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
show examples
 quality of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 can cause misunderstandings,
for instance
Linking Words
, when they video
calling
Wrong verb form
call
show examples
, they
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 hear each other
clear
Change the word
clearly
show examples
 and even the pictures will be blurry.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
, poor connection
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
delaying
Replace the word
delays
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the meeting or conference.
To conclude
Linking Words
, personally, I believe that e-business is
morely
Correct your spelling
more
 advantageous
while
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 expensive.
Thus
Linking Words
, recently,
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 advantages outnumbered the disadvantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction and conclusion are distinct and clearly state the essay's viewpoint. The restating of the thesis in the conclusion could be more definitive and conclusive.
supported main points
While you've presented some advantages and disadvantages, providing more developed examples and a deeper analysis would enhance the response.
logical structure
Your essay would benefit from the use of a broader range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more smoothly. The transitions between points could be more fluid, ensuring a more cohesive reading experience.
complete response
Aim to cover all parts of the task. It is important to address the question fully, particularly in assessing if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Both sides of the argument should be evaluated with a clear position taken.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are relevant, but to improve clarity consider refining them into comprehensive points. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea and be expanded upon with details and examples.
relevant specific examples
Using a mix of general statements and specific, relevant examples will lend more credibility to your arguments. Include precise illustrations to support points made.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: