Some people think that the increasing use of computer and mobile phones nowadays has unwanted effects on the young people reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree
It is argued that technological inventions
such
as computers and smartphones are helping the young generation develop their reading and writing proficiency.This
essay will discuss my opinion in detail with relevant examples.
To begin
,recently,children are not interested in paper books because they are dependent on devices such
as machines and phones.Internet is available to every home, which is needed to read books.Moreover
,they lack of memory abilities that are needed by the children.Every young person is already obstructed by the linguistic problem.For instance
,some study shows that,
children are influenced by pronunciation apps which they are able to pronounce very easily.
Remove the comma
apply
Furthermore
, computers influence students to type using the keyboard for writing.Because of this
,lost of writing ability and memories.A lot of educational institutions have provided these machines for every student's
to improve their writing skills and adapt Change the noun form
students
student
this
.But,it has a very bad effect on the young generation.For example
,some studies have shown that,
writing causes memory loss and does not improve handwriting.
Remove the comma
apply
To conclude
, youngsters have a negative impact on devices such
as machines and modern mobile using reading and writing proficiency.Different people want to give good ideas to move the device for students.Then
,reading and writing ability will advance with memory without a device as well and I agree these
Change preposition
with these
evident
.Replace the word
evidence
Submitted by nuresadikchowdhury175 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow your arguments. Consider creating clear paragraphs that focus on a single idea, and use linking words to connect your ideas and arguments together more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
You've included an introduction and a conclusion, which is positive. However, they need to be more focused and concise. In your introduction, clearly state your main argument and how you plan to develop it. The conclusion should summarily reflect on the points you've made without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Your main points require better support. Make sure each point you're trying to make is backed up by specific examples or evidence. Drawing on studies or statistical evidence can help strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your essay doesn't fully respond to all parts of the task. Provide a more balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument or addressing the extent to which you agree or disagree with the prompt.
task achievement
The ideas presented are unclear and not comprehensive. Work on clarity by simplifying your sentences and ensuring they are grammatically correct. Also, ensure that each paragraph contains one clear main idea that relates to the prompt.
task achievement
In terms of specific examples, they were somewhat relevant but also confusing and contradictory at times. Present clearer and more relevant examples to support your arguments better.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.