IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

You work for a company. You have seen some information online about a training course that would be useful for your work, but it is very expensive. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • describe the content of this course and its benefits • why you would like to attend this course suggest how him/her could help you

#work #company #information #course #manager #content
Dear Edward, I am writing
this
 letter to seek permission to attend the Advanced Digital Marketing course, which is designed to implement precise marketing strategy by data mining in customer performance. It is a five-day intensive program offered by the Fudan Business School and is scheduled to start on Monday 18th of
this
 month.
This
 plan is essential for our company because our sales performance has been declining in recent months. I ensure the modules throughout the course are geared to our needs
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since we identified that the root cause mainly lies in the existing customer group. After the training, we should be able to apply the methodologies
accordingly
 in the solution and boost the sales revenue. As the training is full-time, it would be greatly appreciated if you could avail me a five-day paid leave till 22nd of
this
 month, I believe my absence would not affect the normal functioning of the department, as most of my colleagues have agreed not to take leave during these days. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Antoine
Submitted by huaixiangdong on

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coherence cohesion
The letter effectively addresses all parts of the task prompt with a clear purpose. Each paragraph presents a distinct idea with logical progression.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is formal and well-suited to the context of writing to a manager, maintaining an appropriate level of respect and courtesy throughout.
task achievement
For an even better score, consider providing more specific details about how the knowledge from the training could be directly applied to a current project or task at work.
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