When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Public parks and
sport
facilities are more prominent to be developed in the new Change the noun form
sports
city
area than shopping centres. I believe that by
providing larger public parks and more Change preposition
apply
sport
facilities will offer more positive impacts to the inhabitants than Change the noun form
sports
build
many shopping centres.
Wrong verb form
building
Frist
and foremost, inhabitants are encouraged to do healthy activities as Correct your spelling
First
sport
areas Change the noun form
sports
has
been built in the Change the verb form
have
city
. They tend to spend their leisure time by
doing exercise and Change preposition
apply
witness
the fresh air in the provided Wrong verb form
witnessing
sport
field. Change the noun form
sports
For instance
, the government
in the new city
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
football
mini-stadium in each district with green Correct article usage
a football
area
where Fix the agreement mistake
areas
people
can do jogging
or Wrong verb form
jog
running
, Wrong verb form
run
thus
, in
the weekend Change preposition
at
people
fascinate
to schedule their time to enjoy the fresh air in the well-maintained Wrong verb form
are fascinated
sport
facilities near their district.
Change the noun form
sports
On the other hand
, some people
might find Correct pronoun usage
it difficulties
difficulties
to do groceries if the Replace the word
difficult
government
limit the development of shopping center
. Change the spelling
centre
For example
, in the new town, the government
only allow
Change the form of the verb
allowed
to build
Change the verb form
building
one
supermarket/mall in the Change preposition
of one
city
center
. It will Change the spelling
centre
brings
downside to Change the verb form
bring
people
who live in the suburb
as they have to consider the distance if they want to shop for their needs. Probably it can take around one hour or more hours, so they have to prepare extra money to buy the gas for the vehicle.
Fix the agreement mistake
suburbs
Finally
, the government
have to pay attention to the needs of their society. Health issue should be their priority. The more their people
healthy
the more their Add a missing verb
are healthy
people
happy
. Add a missing verb
are happy
Therefore
, by
constructing larger public parks and more Change preposition
apply
sport
areas show the commitment of the government
to support their society's health when they plan to develop a new city
.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are well-organized and that each paragraph has a clear central theme that contributes to the overall argument of the essay. The essay's coherence could be improved by creating stronger and clearer connections between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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task achievement
Provide more specific and varied examples to substantiate your points. Make sure examples are relevant and vivid enough to illustrate the argument you're making and how they relate to the topic at hand.
Fully explain your ideas
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.