Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In the advancement of technology era,
children
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
common
Replace the word
commonly
to
own a smartphone Fix the infinitive
apply
where
they tend to spend Correct word choice
and
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
time
on that thing. Use synonyms
This
is affected by particular Linking Words
reason
and carries drawback Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
issue
as I will explain in the following paragraphs.
First and foremost, Fix the agreement mistake
issues
smartphones
offer various Use synonyms
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
such
as games, movies, and music. These options are the basic Linking Words
needed
of Replace the word
needs
children
, once they know Use synonyms
on
how to play or operate those things without any Change preposition
apply
guiding
from adults Replace the word
guidance
then
they are likely to become addicted and intend to spend most of their Linking Words
time
on Use synonyms
smartphones
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, parents are required to accompany their kids and teach them about Linking Words
time
management Use synonyms
on
when to play and when to stop operating their phones.
Change preposition
apply
Furthermore
, spending hours on Linking Words
smartphones
will create a boundary Use synonyms
to
its users as they are not able to immerse themselves into the real-life community and Change preposition
for
highly
likely to become anti-social. Add a missing verb
are highly
Thus
, Linking Words
children
who cannot arrange their Use synonyms
time
wisely will Use synonyms
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
possible
Replace the word
possibly
to
become Fix the infinitive
apply
a
selfish person and less sociable. Correct article usage
apply
Likewise
, their communication skill is hardly developed, and they will find difficulties to adjust in a community. These facts show the demerits of using Linking Words
smartphones
without Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
limitation
, particularly to the user of Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
children
.
In conclusion, playing Use synonyms
Use synonyms
smartphones
can be a Change preposition
with smartphones
time
-consuming habit Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
Use synonyms
where
it will lead to Correct word choice
and
the
negative effects Correct article usage
apply
of
their Change preposition
on
personality
and growth. Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
Hence
, in Linking Words
this
Linking Words
case
the parents are the main role to guide and teach kids on how to use their Add a comma
case,
smartphones
wisely.Use synonyms
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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coherence cohesion
The essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, which is good. However, the argument could benefit from a clearer connection between ideas. Transitions should be smoother to ensure that the essay progresses logically from one point to the next, making your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but the points made are somewhat general and require further development. Specific examples and deeper analysis would enhance the argument, providing a more compelling task response. Aim for a more focused discussion of why children spend time on smartphones and whether it's beneficial or not, referencing the prompt's questions directly.