Do you think women should join army or navy, expalin why

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One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in
women
's recruitment in national forces. Some people believe that
ladies
play a vital role in controlling crimes in the female population.
This
stance will be proven by carefully analysing why
girls
are important for the brigades.
Firstly
, the main reason is that
women
are reliable and dedicated to their work commitment towards the nation. These never mix up with any outer people like enemies or foreign detectors. Another factor is that these are well suitable for office work and maintaining a central database.
For example
, 70% of
girls
are working in the Indian troops in information technology departments and those are responsible for keeping information safe and secure.
As a result
, many young
girls
gravitate towards troops and navy divisions.
Secondly
, the primary reason is that nowadays, females fly fighter planes in different countries and perform well.
In addition
, in some cases, if the country needs these soldiers in wars, they play an important part in looking after enemy
women
and it proves the kindness of the country towards the opposition.
For instance
, in the recent war between Israel and Gaza, Israel’s
women
fighters fought against Gaza and handled Gaza’s females even protecting them from any gang rape incidents.
As a consequence
, it is apparent why the
ladies
' army plays a successful role in saving the
girls
from nasty elements. In conclusion, following the analysis,
it is clear that
every country needs
women
soldiers to minimise mass care from the opposite sex people, where
ladies
can communicate with
girls
to prove war’s rules and regulations.
Further
, it is predicted that the recruitment of
ladies
in the army and navy is going to continue in the future as well.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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task achievement
To elevate the essay, ensure that your points are thoroughly broadened and connected. Expanding on ideas with extended arguments and elaborations will enhance clarity. Additionally, working on transitions between paragraphs will smooth the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
While the logical structure of the essay shows great promise, consider varying sentence structures and employing more complex linking words. This can help the flow and rhythm of the text, ensuring better connectivity between the ideas and paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is engaging and sets the tone for the discussion, while the conclusion effectively recaps the central ideas and provides a forward-looking statement.
supported main points
The essay presents specific examples, such as the involvement of Indian women in information technology departments and the Israeli conflict, which substantiates the arguments and lends credibility to the points made.

Your opinion

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