You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

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Many people believe that the most effective
way
to teach students to cooperate with each other is to play
team
sports
at school. From my point of view, I agree with
this
view and think that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
will be more
cooperate
Replace the word
cooperative
show examples
with each other when they play
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
together. In the following paragraphs, the reasons to support my opinion will be outlined in detail.
To begin
with, I strongly believe that sport can boost unity among the group of
children
for many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
. For the first reason, each player in
team
sports
has their own specific duty in the
game
,
therefore
the result of a
game
will
be depended
Wrong verb form
depend
show examples
on the abilities to organize
players
and
teamwork
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
, if
players
in a
team
do not understand each other's skill or abandon some role in the
team
,
such
as goalkeeper in football, they will lose the
game
easily.
As a result
,
children
who play
team
sports
have to be
teamwork
to defeat their opponent
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and losing is an awesome
way
to teach them to cooperate. Another reason is that there are many rules that can affect the
game
in
the
Change the article
a
show examples
negative
way
if
players
do not have
sportmanship
Correct your spelling
sportsmanship
, which
teamwork
is a part of it, and
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
will be taught to cooperate with
Add an article
the thair
show examples
thair
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
team
when they break the rule and be punished. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
, these rules are made for controlling
players
to have
sportmanship
Correct your spelling
sportsmanship
and cooperate with their
team
, and
players
that do not have
teamwork
will be punished.
Therefore
,
children
who break the
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
,
such
as getting
red
Add an article
a red
show examples
card in football and
cannot
Verb problem
not
show examples
participate
Wrong verb form
participating
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
game
until the end, will be acknowledged that they have to cooperate with
team
Add an article
the team
show examples
, and improve themselves in the next
game
.
Therefore
,
team
sport is the most effective
way
to teach
children
to cooperate with each other. In conclusion, playing
team
sports
can cause
players
cooperate
Add the particle
to cooperate
show examples
with their
team
, and
this
adventage
Correct your spelling
advantage
can
be use
Change the verb form
be used
show examples
to teach
children
to cooperate with their friends in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school.
As a result
,
children
will have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
to do any work with
teamwork
, which is good for them and society.
Submitted by bhurin.kua on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and logically follow on from the previous one.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples. These should directly relate to the topic and be developed sufficiently to demonstrate how they support your argument.
language
Take care to ensure language accuracy, including grammar, vocabulary, and punctuation. Errors can impact the clarity of your ideas and the overall coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Develop paragraphs with a single, clear theme, and use cohesive devices appropriately to link your ideas both within and across sentences.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the task prompt. Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and ensure that your stance is clear throughout the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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