It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and ther personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Risk
is a
important element in Change the article
an
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
life
not only individuals
but also
the success of people’s professional Rephrase
apply
life
mostly depends on taking effective Fix the agreement mistake
lives
risks
. Though, taking risk
is main
reason Add an article
the main
of
stress but I believe that Change preposition
for
pros
outweigh the cons because taking Correct article usage
the pros
risks
encourage people.
The main disadvantage of taking risk
is the main reason Fix the agreement mistake
risks
of
stress. Most of the Change preposition
for
individuals
are not used to by
taking Change preposition
apply
risk
. They are getting tensed and thought about success. But Fix the agreement mistake
risks
this
intension
discourages them Replace the word
intention
to concentrate
on his ongoing activities. Overthinking Change preposition
from concentrating
also
ruin
his personal Correct subject-verb agreement
ruins
life
. After that, he gets stressed. For examples
, In Bangladesh, few elderly banking employees Fix the agreement mistake
example
affected
Add a missing verb
are affected
cardiac
diseases Change preposition
by cardiac
due to
excessive risks
contain
in Wrong verb form
contained
baking
Correct article usage
the baking
sectors
.
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
On the other hand
, the people who are take risk
always treated as respected Fix the agreement mistake
risks
person
in Fix the agreement mistake
people
the
society Correct article usage
apply
also
the ratio of the success percentage increase
. Fix the agreement mistake
increases
For
this
reason, his personality increase
. Wrong verb form
increased
For example
, Many legislators in India lead a risky life
, they always threaten
by Wrong verb form
threatened
the
terrorist groups so that they can lag behind Correct article usage
apply
from
making policies against their will. But they are Change preposition
in
most
known persons in the country. Correct article usage
the most
Therefore
, it can be said that people’s personality
enhance Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
due to
taking risks
.
In conclusion, taking risks
have many facilities both
personal and professional Change preposition
for both
life
After taking risks
people
personality Change noun form
people's
raised
, Add a missing verb
are raised
at
the same time Correct word choice
and at
individuals
got
stressed.Wrong verb form
get
Submitted by modudahmedamzad on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance on it, and that the conclusion effectively summarises your essay's central arguments.
Logical Structure
Improve logical structure by organizing ideas more coherently and using clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
Supported Main Points
Develop main points with more detailed explanations and diverse examples to support your arguments.
Task Response
Ensure your essay directly addresses the question throughout, maintaining a consistent focus on whether advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to articulate ideas more clearly and comprehensively, enhancing the readability and overall flow of your essay.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Incorporate specific and relevant examples to underpin your arguments, demonstrating how taking risks can lead to the outcomes you suggest.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.