many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media to what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today’s changing world, I think social
media
is making harder
for many people to concentrate for a long Correct pronoun usage
it harder
time
. Some people get distraction anytime when use social media
a lot. Imagine, you are watching a video content on your social media
account. Then
you get a message. So, you quickly check
it. After that other
notification pop-up and you are ready to Correct quantifier usage
another
check
it well. It’s like never-ending
cycle that keeps breaking your focus.
Add an article
a never-ending
However
, when we use socia
Correct your spelling
social
media
, we see a lots
of short posts, videos, or pictures. They are designed to catch our attention quickly. So, we get used to Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
this
fast-paced way of consuming information. It becomes harder to concentrate on things that require more time
, like studying for an exam, or as simply as
reading books.
From what I have seen, my friends and I still struggle to focus on one thing for too long Correct word choice
apply
time
. We would be studying, and suddenly, someone remembers they need to check
their social media
.
I have noticed this
in myself too. After spending time
on social media
such
as Instagram or tiktok
, I find it difficult to sit down and read something lengthy without feeling the urge to Correct your spelling
TikTok
check
my phone. I usually check
my phone every minutes
just to swipe down my own notification. Change to a singular noun
minute
Although
, I Correct word choice
However
does not
Change the verb form
do not
waiting
Wrong verb form
wait for
a
urgent one. Sometimes, Change the article
an
that
habits bite me like Correct pronoun usage
those
a
crazy.
From that statement, I agree that social Correct article usage
apply
media
affects our attention spans, but it is not only
reason. It is about how we manage our Add an article
the only
time
and have balance
activities in our livesReplace the word
balanced
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. It jumps straight into the discussion without offering a proper introductory statement to set the context of the argument. Similarly, it ends abruptly without a proper conclusion. To improve, provide a clear introductory paragraph outlining the topic and your stance. Also, include a summarizing conclusion that restates your main points and your overall position on the issue.
logical structure
Your essay contains some logical structure. However, the ideas presented are sometimes disjointed and lack effective transitions between them. Consider using a more structured approach to organize your thoughts, with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph followed by supporting sentences and examples. Use linking words to create smoother transitions between points, and keep referring back to the question to maintain relevance.
supported main points
You have made some main points but they lack detailed support and development. Expand on your ideas by giving more specific examples or evidence to back up your claims. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive. It's also important to fully explore the implications of each point to show a deeper understanding of the topic.
complete response
The essay shows an understanding of the task, but the response is not fully developed. Aim to cover the question more comprehensively by discussing both sides of the argument, even if your opinion leans one way. Develop your ideas fully, provide a balanced view, and then give a reasoned conclusion on your position.
clear comprehensive ideas
While some ideas are relevant, the overall presentation is not completely clear or comprehensive. Work on developing clear, in-depth ideas rather than generalizations. Present a clear analysis of why social media affects attention spans and consider contrasting it with views that may disagree, to offer a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
relevant specific examples
You have introduced examples to support your argument, however, they are more anecdotal than specific. Aim to provide a wider range of examples or evidence that can support your claims more universally. These can be research findings, statistics, or scholarly opinions on the influence of social media on attention spans.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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