many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media to what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today’s changing world, I think social
media
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is making
harder
Correct pronoun usage
it harder

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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for many people to concentrate for a long
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Some people get distraction anytime when use social
media
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

a lot. Imagine, you are watching a video content on your social
media
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

account.
Then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

you get a message. So, you quickly
check
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

it. After that
other
Correct quantifier usage
another

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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notification pop-up and you are ready to
check
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

it well. It’s like
never-ending
Add an article
a never-ending

The noun phrase never-ending cycle seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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cycle that keeps breaking your focus.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when we use
socia
Correct your spelling
social

If you don’t want socia to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

media
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, we see
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun lots in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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of short posts, videos, or pictures. They are designed to catch our attention quickly. So, we get used to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

fast-paced way of consuming information. It becomes harder to concentrate on things that require more
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, like studying for an exam, or as simply
as
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
reading books. From what I have seen, my friends and I still struggle to focus on one thing for too long
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. We would be studying, and suddenly, someone remembers they need to
check
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

their social
media
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I have noticed
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

in myself too. After spending
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on social
media
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as Instagram or
tiktok
Correct your spelling
TikTok

If you don’t want tiktok to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, I find it difficult to sit down and read something lengthy without feeling the urge to
check
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

my phone. I usually
check
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

my phone every
minutes
Change to a singular noun
minute

The singular quantifier every is followed by the plural noun minutes. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

show examples
just to swipe down my own notification.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Although
Correct word choice
However

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
, I
does not
Change the verb form
do not

It appears that the subject pronoun I and the verb does are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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waiting
Wrong verb form
wait for

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb waiting. Consider changing it.

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a
Change the article
an

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word urgent.

show examples
urgent one. Sometimes,
that
Correct pronoun usage
those

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
habits bite me like
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
crazy. From that statement, I agree that social
media
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

affects our attention spans, but it is not
only
Add an article
the only

The noun phrase only reason seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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reason. It is about how we manage our
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and have
balance
Replace the word
balanced

The word balance doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
activities in our lives

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introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. It jumps straight into the discussion without offering a proper introductory statement to set the context of the argument. Similarly, it ends abruptly without a proper conclusion. To improve, provide a clear introductory paragraph outlining the topic and your stance. Also, include a summarizing conclusion that restates your main points and your overall position on the issue.
logical structure
Your essay contains some logical structure. However, the ideas presented are sometimes disjointed and lack effective transitions between them. Consider using a more structured approach to organize your thoughts, with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph followed by supporting sentences and examples. Use linking words to create smoother transitions between points, and keep referring back to the question to maintain relevance.
supported main points
You have made some main points but they lack detailed support and development. Expand on your ideas by giving more specific examples or evidence to back up your claims. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive. It's also important to fully explore the implications of each point to show a deeper understanding of the topic.
complete response
The essay shows an understanding of the task, but the response is not fully developed. Aim to cover the question more comprehensively by discussing both sides of the argument, even if your opinion leans one way. Develop your ideas fully, provide a balanced view, and then give a reasoned conclusion on your position.
clear comprehensive ideas
While some ideas are relevant, the overall presentation is not completely clear or comprehensive. Work on developing clear, in-depth ideas rather than generalizations. Present a clear analysis of why social media affects attention spans and consider contrasting it with views that may disagree, to offer a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
relevant specific examples
You have introduced examples to support your argument, however, they are more anecdotal than specific. Aim to provide a wider range of examples or evidence that can support your claims more universally. These can be research findings, statistics, or scholarly opinions on the influence of social media on attention spans.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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