Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Environmental issues are
raising
day by day and it is impacting an Correct your spelling
rising
individuals
life Change noun form
individual's
also
. Many people believe that these problems should be dealt nationally
as compared to the global scale. In my Change preposition
with nationally
essay
I shall discuss both Add a comma
essay,
the
views with supportive examples followed by my personal opinion towards the end.
Correct article usage
apply
To begin
with, I believe that the environment is affected as a whole and not from one country to another. This
is due to
the modernisation and globalisation policies opted by the individuals and the businesses to expand. For satisfying their personal purposes, many entities tend to harm the atmosphere by cutting down the trees which has led to global warming on a large scale, the huge industrial set ups
draw their ways disposals into the rivers and it has polluted the water to an extreme level . To exemplify the glaciers of Antarctica are melting now Correct your spelling
setups
due to
the
global warming which is caused by unwanted practices considered by Correct article usage
apply
masses
. Correct article usage
the masses
Therefore
, the population across the earth needs to take frequent action to lower down
the rate of environmental issues.
Change preposition
apply
Whereas
, on the other hand
, it is believed that one's growth starts from whom itself . India is a
worst country with a huge capital project initiated by many other nations domestically, but it is equally polluted in terms of waste released Change the article
the
in
Change preposition
into
air
, water or land not only Correct article usage
the air
this
the carbon emission from the
vehicles has disturbed the Correct article usage
apply
air-quality
that everyone is breathing to demonstrate as per the latest hit news headline of Delhi. The capital of India mentions that Correct your spelling
air quality
that
the CM has declared holidays for the students and employees Remove the redundancy
apply
due to
the poor quality of air. Hence
, I believe people should start protecting their surroundings to lead a healthy life in future.
To be fair, and square ,I opine that steps should be taken domestically first and make the place suitable to live
Just of the matter is that the earth is affected completely due to
many reasons which needs
prompt action. In my opinion, it should be taken Change the verb form
need
from
Change preposition
on
small
scale to secure it largely in future.Correct article usage
a small
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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a basic structure, but there is room for improvement in ensuring a clear logical progression of ideas. The introduction and conclusion should explicitly summarize the main points and your opinion. Try to develop paragraphs with clear topic sentences followed by explanations and examples.
task achievement
Although you addressed the task reasonably well by discussing both viewpoints and giving your opinion, the response could benefit from deeper exploration and more developed examples. It is also crucial to stay on topic and ensure relevance in all parts of your essay. Work on fully answering the question with a more comprehensive discussion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example