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Band 4.5

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

#people #meat #fish #health #world
It is widely believed that some
people
 prefer to remain vegetarian, which preserves nature by eating no
meat
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
fish
. I totally concur with
this
 viewpoint for the following reasons On the one hand, there are various reasons why
people
 acknowledge that eating
meat
 or
fish
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them in increasing protein which
maintain
Correct subject-verb agreement
maintains
show examples
 the strength of a muscle.
Meat
 or
fish
 is considered as nutritious food for many patients.
As a consequence
,
people
 use it as a main dish which provides them
protein
Change preposition
with protein
show examples
 for their health.
Besides
,
meat
 and
fish
 play a vital role in physical activities for humans, especially for a
body builder
Correct your spelling
bodybuilder
show examples
 or an athlete.
On the other hand
, there are several reasons why I support the statement that
people
 should eat no
meat
 or
fish
. First,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 can't live longer without vegetables or fruits
by
Change preposition
because of
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 vitamins. A diet rich in vegetables and fruits can lower blood pressure,
heart
Correct word choice
and heart
show examples
 stroke and prevent certain types of cancer. If we keep a healthy lifestyle throughout the year, it will play a vital role in reducing the burden of disease for the country.
Second,
framing livestock is one of the major causes of
green house
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
show examples
 gas emissions worldwide. We should reduce the consumption of
meat
 as it benefits for preserving animals.
As a result
, the land
that is
 being used to raise them can be altered to grow vegetables which in turn produce clean air for the whole planet In conclusion,
although
meat
 and
fish
 are versatile, I am of the opinion that a healthy lifestyle by eating no
meat
 and
fish
 is better because of the decline in disease and the greenery of the planet.
Submitted by cdiemquynh009 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your main points are well-supported with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Provide a full and direct response to the task with a clear opinion. Make sure to address all parts of the task prompt in your essay.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully to demonstrate an understanding of the topic and your position. This includes expanding on why you believe not eating meat or fish benefits health and the world.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices and topic-specific vocabulary accurately and appropriately. Avoid repetition and ensure that the flow of ideas is smooth.
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