People think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others believe that there are other alternative solutions for reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion on this topic

Other
people
are of the view that sentencing offenders to a long time in
prison
is the most viable solution to ameliorate
crime
while
some believe that paying
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fines and providing counselling services could be considered as better solutions.
However
, I believe that making
crime
doers to be reprimanded in
prison
is a noble idea.
To begin
with, putting individuals who go against the law in
prison
for a
while
is considered to be the panacea to
crime
.
This
is because in most cases human beings learn more if they are put in a
conjucive
Correct your spelling
conjugative
environment. To
elaboate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
further
, taking
murders
Replace the word
murderers
show examples
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
example, subjecting them
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
jail conditions will help them to understand that what they did was not correct. It will
also
help in reducing
further
crimes
mainly
due to
the fact that the offender will be in jail. I believe
this
helps a lot in
crime
reduction.
On the other hand
, allowing offenders to pay exorbitant bail fines can
also
assist in lessening the
occurance
Correct your spelling
occurrence
of
crimes
in societies. It is important to note that in some cases
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if the person is made to pay large sums of money for
crimes
they would have committed, it might help in
bring
Change the verb form
bringing
show examples
awareness. To most
people
money is not easy to find,
hence
this
could
also
make an impact in reducing
crimes
. More importantly, providing
counseling
Change the spelling
counselling
show examples
services to
crime doers
Add a hyphen
crime-doers
show examples
can
also
make a positive impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
communities.
However
, it should be noted that the mentioned methods can only work if the nature of the
crime
committed is not serious
for example
killing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
,
robbing
Correct word choice
or robbing
show examples
banks to mention only a few. In conclusion, giving offenders an opportunity to pay high
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of bail fines and offering counselling services to them might help in dealing with
crime
issues.
However
, locking criminals in
prison
for longer periods proves to be the most reliable way especially if we are to consider very serious offences
such
as killing of
people
or armed robbery cases.
Submitted by tafadzwakguruza on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. While the structure in this piece is mostly clear, there could be smoother transitions and more cohesive links between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Expand your main points with more detailed explanations and real-life examples. This would demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic. In this essay, specific examples to illustrate points are lacking, and ideas could be further developed.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, making sure to discuss both views thoroughly and providing a clear opinion. While your opinion is stated, it could be integrated more seamlessly through the essay, and both views could be more equally discussed.
task achievement
Strive for clarity by using a variety of sentence structures and precise vocabulary. There are some instances where ideas could be more coherently expressed, and complex sentence structures could be used more effectively.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • habitual offenders
  • retribution
  • rehabilitation
  • overcrowding
  • recidivism
  • community service
  • restorative justice
  • crime prevention programs
  • youth mentorship
  • neighborhood watch
  • justice system
  • re-offending
  • financial strain
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