People think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others believe that there are other alternative solutions for reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion on this topic
Other
people
are of the view that sentencing offenders to a long time in prison
is the most viable solution to ameliorate crime
while
some believe that paying of
fines and providing counselling services could be considered as better solutions. Change preposition
apply
However
, I believe that making crime
doers to be reprimanded in prison
is a noble idea.
To begin
with, putting individuals who go against the law in prison
for a while
is considered to be the panacea to crime
. This
is because in most cases human beings learn more if they are put in a conjucive
environment. To Correct your spelling
conjugative
elaboate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
further
, taking murders
Replace the word
murderers
for
example, subjecting them Add the comma(s)
, for
in
jail conditions will help them to understand that what they did was not correct. It will Change preposition
to
also
help in reducing further
crimes
mainly due to
the fact that the offender will be in jail. I believe this
helps a lot in crime
reduction.
On the other hand
, allowing offenders to pay exorbitant bail fines can also
assist in lessening the occurance
of Correct your spelling
occurrence
crimes
in societies. It is important to note that in some cases,
if the person is made to pay large sums of money for Remove the comma
apply
crimes
they would have committed, it might help in bring
awareness. To most Change the verb form
bringing
people
money is not easy to find, hence
this
could also
make an impact in reducing crimes
. More importantly, providing counseling
services to Change the spelling
counselling
crime doers
can Add a hyphen
crime-doers
also
make a positive impact to
communities. Change preposition
on
However
, it should be noted that the mentioned methods can only work if the nature of the crime
committed is not serious for example
killing of
Change preposition
apply
people
, robbing
banks to mention only a few.
In conclusion, giving offenders an opportunity to pay high Correct word choice
or robbing
amount
of bail fines and offering counselling services to them might help in dealing with Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
crime
issues. However
, locking criminals in prison
for longer periods proves to be the most reliable way especially if we are to consider very serious offences such
as killing of people
or armed robbery cases.Submitted by tafadzwakguruza on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. While the structure in this piece is mostly clear, there could be smoother transitions and more cohesive links between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Expand your main points with more detailed explanations and real-life examples. This would demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic. In this essay, specific examples to illustrate points are lacking, and ideas could be further developed.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, making sure to discuss both views thoroughly and providing a clear opinion. While your opinion is stated, it could be integrated more seamlessly through the essay, and both views could be more equally discussed.
task achievement
Strive for clarity by using a variety of sentence structures and precise vocabulary. There are some instances where ideas could be more coherently expressed, and complex sentence structures could be used more effectively.
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