Some people believe that it is important for parents to tell or read stories for their children. Others think that parents don’t have to do this because there are many sources for children to read like books, comics and websites. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

It is widely believed that
parents
take a pivotal role in storytelling for their
children
,
while
there are still some who think that they do not need to do
this
due to
many reading resources for
children
like
books
, websites and comics. In spite of the advantages of these sources,
this
writer strongly agrees with the form statement to some extent. Admittedly, there are numerous reasons why
children
can read
stories
via comics,
books
and websites
instead
of
parents
. Chief of these is that they can foster their independence and self-directing
skills
. Indeed, reading
books
independently allows them to explore them more clearly
as well as
read at their own pace to follow the content, so these
skills
can be encouraged.
Moreover
, allowing kids to read
books
on their own means that they can have more perspectives and opinions about the content from other online users that might not be available just through parent-led storytelling.
Therefore
, their intellect and critical thinking proficiencies can be improved. Despite the benefits of reading solitarily, that of reading
books
guided by
parents
is more considerable. Evidently, hearing
stories
told by them can help
children
enhance their listening
skills
and holistic understanding of their views.
Thus
,
children
’s imagination from what
parents
tell and creative thinking can be better.
Furthermore
,
parents
can intervene in the story to make it more suitable for the
children
and align with their families’ beliefs and experiences.
As a result
, they are able to grow properly and are not affected by external factors. In conclusion, given the development of independent
skills
and a wide variety of ideas from the
stories
, I do understand why kids can read them from
books
or online sources rather than their families.
However
, reading
stories
along with
parents
can be better because of the enhancement of imagination ability and suitable ones.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To further improve your response, you could provide more specific examples that demonstrate the points you are making. Specific examples help to highlight your arguments more effectively and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the coherence between your paragraphs. While your points are logically organized, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to improve the overall cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of both perspectives on the topic, and you have provided a well-rounded assessment of each view.
coherence cohesion
You have done a good job in presenting a clear introduction and conclusion, maintaining a logical structure throughout your essay.
task achievement
You effectively compare the benefits of parents reading to children versus children reading on their own, which strengthens your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: