IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In a number of countries some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast create between cities others believe that money should be spent on improving existing public transport discuss both these views and Give your opinion

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Nowadays,transportation is a major issue,which is taking shape to the big problem.The first group of people think that
money
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 should be spent on imports
as well as
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 the construction of new railway
lines
Use synonyms
.The second group of individuals believe that the buses in the existing
transport
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 system need to improve by investing
money
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.Fast travelling and facilities in trains are supported the first view of people.But
on the other hand
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,cheap transportation favours buses.In
this
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 essay,I will discuss both views and introduce my opinion.In my opinion,trains should be built between cities for fast travelling by spending
money
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 but no one can ignore the importance of buses in cities. To commence with, the rationale for investing in new faster railway
lines
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 is that, they will provide easier and time-saving methods to travel between cities.
This
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 is very important for the economy of the
country
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.
This
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 will
has
Change the verb form
have
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 a huge impact on tourism and business development giving an economic boost to the
country
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.
For example
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, the ” bullet trains” in Japan are a high tourist attraction and the most popular
transport
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 method for high-calibre businessmen in the
country
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.
Hence
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, investing in fast rail
lines
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 would be a good choice for any
country
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.
On the other hand
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, newer
transport
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 methods do not have access to all the corners of the
country
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. If the governing authorities do not develop prevailing infrastructure in non-urban areas, those people have to spend miserable lives for generations.
For example
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, a school in the Mahogany area in Sri Lanka starts school at 9:00 AM because the students cannot attend school before that time
due to
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 the bad condition of the village road. Considering that, the government should allocate
money
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 to renovating the existing
transport
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 method in the
country
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. In conclusion, the rulers have to allocate taxpayers’
money
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 in a proper manner to develop new rail
lines
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 to match the fast-moving world
while
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 facilitating all the citizens' equal access to those newer improvements.
Therefore
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, both
Correct article usage
the developments
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developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
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 of new high-speed rail
lines
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 and the renovation of the existing roads have to
achieve
Wrong verb form
be achieved
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 in a balanced way

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear logical structure. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas and arguments. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is then developed and supported with examples or further explanation.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion in your essay to frame your discussion. The introduction should clearly introduce the topic and your essay should end with a conclusion that summarizes the points made and restates your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. This will help to make your arguments more convincing. Avoid overly broad statements and strive to include relevant details that demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the task. This means you need to discuss both views presented in the prompt as well as give your own opinion. It's important that each of these components is developed sufficiently within your essay.
task achievement
Aim for clear and comprehensive development of ideas. This can be achieved through well-structured paragraphs and the use of linking words to show the relationship between ideas. Make sure your writing progresses logically and that the reader can easily understand the progression of your thoughts.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. Each example should be clearly connected to the point you are making and help to illustrate your argument. Avoid generic statements and strive for examples that provide insightful support to your discussion.
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