Some people say free time acitvities for the children should be organized by the parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and gives your opinion.

It is sometimes argued that
parents
should arrange for kids’ spare
time
activities
through their mature consciousness and experiences. I would argue that it is better to allow their
children
to choose their free
time
activities
. On the one hand, it is believed that
parents
put in order
leisure
time
activities
for their offspring
due to
their maturity and high experience. They foresee and warn them how useful or dangerous these
activities
would be. Simultaneously, they will recognize which things will be proper for their ages and
also
prevent them from playing games or spending too much
time
watching television.
For example
, my friend sometimes observes two of her daughters and decides they should read books or swim for each of them whether they enjoy it or not. By following and organizing,
parents
can avoid doing wrong
acitvities
Correct your spelling
activities
for them as long as whatever accidents would happen to them;
however
, the
children
should be not happy about doing it.
On the other hand
, I believe that freedom of choice connects
children
to reveal their natural talents. Some young people would like to swim than draw, others would prefer playing musical instruments rather than dancing whenever they have
leisure
time
. When they are fond of doing
this
, gradually,
this
activity will become their passion and talent one day.
For instance
, my
6-years-old
Correct your spelling
6-year-old
little sister is keen on swimming in her spare
time
, now she has got two golden medals for the school competition. My
parents
realized her hobby and supported and encouraged her to do it.
Parents
should respect their
leisure
time
activities
, and encourage and support them if their
children
can develop their mentality and talents. In conclusion,
although
parents
might have a right to decide the free
time
activities
children
should do.
However
, in my opinion,
parents
ought to allow kids to do whatever
leisure
time
activities
they have a passion for
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to develop their talents.
Submitted by pnkhanhlove on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the purpose of the essay and your stance on the topic. The conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points and reiterate your opinion.
Logical Structure
Develop logical sequencing of ideas throughout paragraphs with suitable linking words to enhance cohesion. Avoid abrupt transitions between ideas.
Supported Main Points
Use topic sentences to introduce the main point of paragraphs clearly and develop these ideas fully with explanations, reasons, and examples.
Task Response
Address all parts of the task adequately. Include a balanced discussion of both views and ensure your opinion is clear throughout the essay.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Present ideas in a clear and comprehensive manner, making them easily understandable. Avoid ambiguity or vagueness in arguments.
Relevant and Specific Examples
Incorporate relevant examples that effectively support the main points. Ensure examples are specific, detailed, and to the point.
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