An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

#people #development

Purchasing online recently become more popular in society.

This

results in negative effects like

people

becoming lazier in doing physical

activity

and some traders not following the online shop pattern. Meanwhile,

this

condition

also

results in positive impacts

such

as higher supply and demand

activity

and effectiveness in trading

activity

. Through

this

essay, I personally believe the advantages bring more benefits. On one hand, the action of buying online shop products can stimulate the human brain to be lazier since it will decrease individual physical

activity

because they prefer staying at home rather than walking outside to buy their needs.

Moreover

, in terms of sellers, it cannot be denied that some of them do not have the ability to dive into online life, making their chances to sell products harder nowadays.

for example

, in some villages in east Indonesia, there is no strong connection to support the internet which makes villagers difficult to follow the

activity

, let alone

people

who are not capable of understanding the online work, leading them to lose the opportunity.

on the other hand

, online shopping leads to many advantages as well.

Firstly

, the more online shops available the more buyers will come to buy products, leading to the growth of supply and demand in a country and intuitively will make the country's economy better.

for instance

, in Indonesia, many traders get more benefits since they sell online; they

also

do not need a large space

instead

, they just have an account to help them dive online.

Furthermore

, with

this

invention,

people

can feel modernised through how effective online trading is, which is one of the pivotal actions nowadays. The easiness of getting what consumers want creates a positive impact not only on the individuals but

also

on the authority.

To sum up

although

buying online has disadvantages in the occurrence, in my own perspective, the advantages that online shopping provides to

people

nowadays bring more benefits because it can

also

reflect the development of human invention.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Wed Dec 13 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure the introduction effectively paraphrases the question and clearly outlines the essay structure.

coherence cohesion

Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main ideas.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical progression of ideas by using a range of cohesive devices effectively.

task achievement

Develop each main point with specific examples and detailed explanations.

task achievement

Cover both advantages and disadvantages equally, to ensure a balanced discussion on the topic.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a formal tone and correct grammatical structures throughout the essay.

task achievement

To achieve a higher score for Task Achievement, make sure to fully address all parts of the task with expanded and supported ideas.

coherence cohesion

Be sure to proofread the writing for grammatical errors and typos, as these can detract from the overall quality and coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

331 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

Most countries allow 18-year olds to start driving a car. Some say it is good to allow at this age. But others think that the age to start driving should be at least 25. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, as women and men have to work full time, household duties should be equally divided. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Teenagers are spending too much time on computers and this will lead to a severe problem in their mental and physical health. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?