In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies

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In some parts of the world, many youths are advised

for working

Change preposition

to work

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travelling

Verb problem

travel

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prior to college.

This

Linking Words

essay will suggest that the experience gained and money saved are the significant benefits, whilst delaying

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apply

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careers and reducing motivation to study

further

Linking Words

are the prime drawbacks. The important advantages of a Gap

year

Use synonyms

are learning about the different cultures and traditions, and earning money.

This

Linking Words

is to say that for learners who have just completed their secondary school,

Change preposition

apply

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working or travelling for a

year

Use synonyms

could allow them to learn more about beyond the education sector.

In addition

Linking Words

, tertiary education is costly, and many graduates bear

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

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expenses

Fix the agreement mistake

expense

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themselves by earning

Correct quantifier usage

apply

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possible

Correct quantifier usage

much possible

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in between

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

year

Use synonyms

. To

illustrates

Correct subject-verb agreement

illustrate

show examples

that, the average student at the

university

Capitalize word

University

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USA

Correct article usage

the USA

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requires more than ten thousand dollars per annum to survive.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they saved more money for their future

studies

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, pupils have

delaying

Wrong verb form

delays

show examples

in their future careers and

also

Linking Words

reduce motivation to study

further

Linking Words

, which are the greatest demerits for students. As job markets are very competitive, an extra

year

Use synonyms

means a massive difference whilst applying for job applications for higher

position

Fix the agreement mistake

positions

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

, a gap

year

Use synonyms

means demotivation to start university

studies

Use synonyms

and continue it with full enthusiasm.

For instance

Linking Words

, in the context of Nepal, most of the students discontinued their

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

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and involved in the same job

as a result

Linking Words

of distraction from

Use synonyms

studies

Correct pronoun usage

their studies

show examples

. In conclusion, the advantages of

gap

Correct article usage

a gap

show examples

year

Use synonyms

can be more beneficial for younger people to gain experience and confidence with

lot

Change the article

a lot

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of savings.

However

Linking Words

delay

Correct subject-verb agreement

delays

show examples

in their careers and reduction of motivation for

further

Linking Words

studies

Use synonyms

could be more disadvantages.

2019anjubhandariWed Dec 13 2023

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Coherence and cohesion

It is imperative to ensure that your essay contains clear, logical paragraphs. Your essay has a recognizable structure, but the connection between ideas could be made clearer. For higher marks, make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within the paragraph connect directly to it.

Task achievement

While you've addressed the task's requirements, there could be more comprehensive development of your ideas. Aim to further elaborate on your points with detailed examples and explanations. Each paragraph should contribute to the overall argument or narrative of the essay in a significant way.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

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In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

All the people in a company should be treated equally and provide with the same number of holidays in a year or people doing different jobs enjoy different amounts of holiday time. To what extent do you agree or disagree.