Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?
Teenager
are
commonly affected by their Change the verb form
is
peer
's conduct and situations by
others Change preposition
with
in
the same age. Change preposition
of
This
is nameled
"Correct your spelling
named
enamelled
peer
pressure
". Althought
, I Correct your spelling
Although
am not disagree
Change the verb form
do not disagree
this
Change preposition
with this
assumtion
but Correct your spelling
assumption
i
think it is very true the cons aspect than Change the capitalization
I
pros
aspect.
To start with my opinion in Correct article usage
the pros
this
essay, nowaday
a group of young Correct your spelling
nowadays
people
impacts
each Correct subject-verb agreement
impact
others
are very populated. Change to a singular noun
other
This
illustrate
most of Change the verb form
illustrates
Correct article usage
the teenager
teenager
character's Replace the word
teenage
consequense
. Correct your spelling
consequence
consequences
For example
in this
situation, more young people
usually come across bulliying
. Correct your spelling
bullying
In addition
, another number of teenagers laught
Correct your spelling
laugh
each
other and Change preposition
at each
this
condition make
reason absolutely Change the verb form
makes
upset
situation. Replace the word
upsetting
Aditionally
most Correct your spelling
Additionally
of
Change preposition
apply
young
Add an article
the young
people
make each other afraiding
. It Correct your spelling
afraid
raiding
demand
Change the verb form
demands
people
strong
Change the word
strongly
seriously
think about adolescent.
If I add my ideas Correct word choice
and seriously
another
Change preposition
to another
thougt
, there are no Correct your spelling
thought
though
any advantage
aspects Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
this
peer
pressure
. It Add a missing verb
is my
my
Correct your spelling
may
contreverselly
condition . For Correct your spelling
controversially
examle
, Correct your spelling
example
Correct article usage
a teeaneger
teeaneger
may Correct your spelling
teenager
teenagers
suisid
himself or herself . He or she Correct your spelling
suicide
has
Verb problem
is
strong
depressed by Change the adjective
strongly
this
pressure
. You can not know what happens in this
situation. But you may stop it If you want. How can you said
? Change the verb form
say
Yes
you do not allow Add the punctuation
Yes,
that
Correct word choice
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
teeneagers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
make
each other sward and Fix the infinitive
to make
pressure
. You should control them always .
In conclusion, there is Replace the word
pressured
not any
advantage aspects Rephrase
no
peer
pressure
between young people
. It not
make Change the verb form
does not
did not
teeanegers
more happy. Correct your spelling
teenagers
Only
disadvantage is Add an article
The only
most
important Correct article usage
the most
assumtion
there.Correct your spelling
assumption
Submitted by sevaraokhunova02 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure, with ideas presented in a random order. Introduction and conclusion are present but weak. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to guide the reader and logically organize supporting points.
task achievement
The response to the task is incomplete. The prompt asks for an evaluation of whether the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, but the essay only presents disadvantages. It is important to address both sides to fully respond to the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.