Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Teenager
are
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is
show examples
commonly affected by their
peer
's conduct and situations
by
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with
show examples
others
in
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of
show examples
the same age.
This
is
nameled
Correct your spelling
named
enamelled
"
peer
pressure
".
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
, I
am not disagree
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do not disagree
show examples
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
assumtion
Correct your spelling
assumption
but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think it is very true the cons aspect than
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
aspect. To start with my opinion in
this
essay,
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
a group of young
people
impacts
Correct subject-verb agreement
impact
show examples
each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
are very populated.
This
illustrate
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illustrates
show examples
most of
Correct article usage
the teenager
show examples
teenager
Replace the word
teenage
show examples
character's
consequense
Correct your spelling
consequence
consequences
.
For example
in
this
situation, more young
people
usually come across
bulliying
Correct your spelling
bullying
.
In addition
, another number of teenagers
laught
Correct your spelling
laugh
each
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at each
show examples
other and
this
condition
make
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makes
show examples
reason absolutely
upset
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upsetting
show examples
situation.
Aditionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
most
of
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apply
show examples
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
people
make each other
afraiding
Correct your spelling
afraid
raiding
. It
demand
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demands
show examples
people
strong
Change the word
strongly
show examples
seriously
Correct word choice
and seriously
show examples
think about adolescent. If I add my ideas
another
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to another
show examples
thougt
Correct your spelling
thought
though
, there are no
any advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
aspects
this
peer
pressure
. It
Add a missing verb
is my
show examples
my
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
contreverselly
Correct your spelling
controversially
condition . For
examle
Correct your spelling
example
,
Correct article usage
a teeaneger
show examples
teeaneger
Correct your spelling
teenager
teenagers
may
suisid
Correct your spelling
suicide
himself or herself . He or she
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
strong
Change the adjective
strongly
show examples
depressed by
this
pressure
. You can not know what happens in
this
situation. But you may stop it If you want. How can you
said
Change the verb form
say
show examples
?
Yes
Add the punctuation
Yes,
show examples
you do not allow
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teeneagers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
each other sward and
pressure
Replace the word
pressured
show examples
. You should control them always . In conclusion, there is
not any
Rephrase
no
show examples
advantage aspects
peer
pressure
between young
people
. It
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
show examples
make
teeanegers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
more happy.
Only
Add an article
The only
show examples
disadvantage is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
important
assumtion
Correct your spelling
assumption
there.
Submitted by sevaraokhunova02 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure, with ideas presented in a random order. Introduction and conclusion are present but weak. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to guide the reader and logically organize supporting points.
task achievement
The response to the task is incomplete. The prompt asks for an evaluation of whether the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, but the essay only presents disadvantages. It is important to address both sides to fully respond to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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