Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

#people #behaviours #situations #age #“peer #pressure” #peer #pressure

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Teenager

are

Change the verb form

show examples

commonly affected by their

peer

's conduct and situations

Change preposition

with

show examples

others

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show examples

the same age.

This

nameled

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named

enamelled

peer

pressure

Althought

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Although

, I

am not disagree

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do not disagree

show examples

this

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with this

show examples

assumtion

Correct your spelling

assumption

but

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think it is very true the cons aspect than

pros

Correct article usage

the pros

show examples

aspect. To start with my opinion in

this

essay,

nowaday

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nowadays

show examples

a group of young

people

impacts

Correct subject-verb agreement

impact

show examples

each

others

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other

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are very populated.

This

illustrate

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illustrates

show examples

most of

Correct article usage

the teenager

show examples

teenager

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teenage

show examples

character's

consequense

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consequence

consequences

For example

this

situation, more young

people

usually come across

bulliying

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bullying

In addition

, another number of teenagers

laught

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laugh

each

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at each

show examples

other and

this

condition

make

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makes

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reason absolutely

upset

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upsetting

show examples

situation.

Aditionally

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Additionally

most

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apply

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young

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the young

show examples

people

make each other

afraiding

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afraid

raiding

. It

demand

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demands

show examples

people

strong

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strongly

show examples

seriously

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and seriously

show examples

think about adolescent. If I add my ideas

another

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to another

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thougt

Correct your spelling

thought

though

, there are no

any advantage

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advantages

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aspects

this

peer

pressure

. It

Add a missing verb

is my

show examples

Correct your spelling

may

show examples

contreverselly

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controversially

condition . For

examle

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example

Correct article usage

a teeaneger

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teeaneger

Correct your spelling

teenager

teenagers

may

suisid

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suicide

himself or herself . He or she

has

Verb problem

show examples

strong

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strongly

show examples

depressed by

this

pressure

. You can not know what happens in

this

situation. But you may stop it If you want. How can you

said

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say

show examples

Yes

Add the punctuation

Yes,

show examples

you do not allow

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teeneagers

Correct your spelling

teenagers

make

Fix the infinitive

to make

show examples

each other sward and

pressure

Replace the word

pressured

show examples

. You should control them always . In conclusion, there is

not any

Rephrase

show examples

advantage aspects

peer

pressure

between young

people

. It

not

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does not

did not

show examples

make

teeanegers

Correct your spelling

teenagers

more happy.

Only

Add an article

The only

show examples

disadvantage is

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

important

assumtion

Correct your spelling

assumption

there.

Submitted by sevaraokhunova02 on Wed Dec 13 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and logical structure, with ideas presented in a random order. Introduction and conclusion are present but weak. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to guide the reader and logically organize supporting points.

task achievement

The response to the task is incomplete. The prompt asks for an evaluation of whether the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, but the essay only presents disadvantages. It is important to address both sides to fully respond to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
54
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

225 words

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Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Fully explain your ideas

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people argue that globalization is harming people more, rather than doing good. However, some others argue for the opposite. Do the advantages of globalization outweigh disadvantages?

Many companies are developing electronic books. Some people think these books will replace paper books in the future. To what extent do you agree?