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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The table below gives information about rail transport in for countries in 2007. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features abd make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about rail transport in for countries in 2007. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features abd make comparisons where relevant.
#information #rail #transport #countries #summerise #features #abd #comparisons
The chart shows data about the uses of railway transportation in four different countries
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
during the year 2007. In general, it is
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
to see
Verb problem
apply
show examples
from the table that the
figure
 for
Japan
 using
rail
transport
 was highest for most categories, whilst the
figure
 for America was
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
. Looking at
rail
transport
Change noun form
transport's
show examples
 mean uses in
Japan
 and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 in more detail, it is evident that the number of individuals using
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 in
Japan
 was 27
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
,
while
 the opposite
figure
 for
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 was 0.3
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. Meanwhile, 1.980
kilometres
 for each person who took
rail
transport
 in
Japan
,
whereas
 the
figure
 was much lower than in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, 80
kilometres
.
Moreover
,
cargo
 which was carried by Japanese
rail
transport
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 about 23.01
billion
tonnes
,
while
 there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 just 2.820
billion
tonnes
cargo
Change preposition
of cargo
show examples
 carried in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
. Turning to the remained trend, the number of people using
rail
transport
 in Italy
recorded
Verb problem
was
show examples
 about 5.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
,
also
 in
this
 category, the
figure
 for
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 was
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 higher than Italy, 5.9
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. The 780
of
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apply
show examples
kilometres
 which was taken
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per person in Italy, and the
figure
 for one UK resident
770
Add a missing verb
was 770
show examples
kilometres
.
Moreover
,
cargo
 which was carried by
rail
transport
 system in Italy recorded about 21.9
billion
tonnes
, and there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 22.2
billion
tonnes
cargo
Change preposition
of cargo
show examples
 carried in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
.
Submitted by han.nguyenngoc.bbs21 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words figure, japan, rail, transport, usa, millions, kilometres, cargo, billion, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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