IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Inovation is driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth. However, some argue that it should prioritize addressing social and environmental issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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In current times, financial gains and industrial increases are enhanced dramatically. Yet, with reference to some individuals, community-based and ecological
problems
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 ought to be solved by using new measures.
Although
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 it is necessary to improve economic growth, it is essential to tackle social and environmental challenges with
innovation
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. In recent decades, transformations in businesses have led to great improvements. It is obvious that over the past years, a considerable amount of profit has been gained by advancing our technology.
Consequently
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, industrial estates have required new measures.
For instance
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, one of the finest approaches was the invention of cell phones.
Due to
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this
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, people can communicate effortlessly, and these communications have influenced economic conditions positively.
Therefore
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, if companies' revolutions continue, they can benefit in several circumstances, especially in finance.
On the other hand
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,
while
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 it is apparent that
innovation
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 is a fundamental method to maintain our industries, in some cases, people have to utilize it to find solutions for personal and environmental issues. Applying new ideas and perceptions to these types of
problems
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 will be useful in citizens' lives.
For example
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, by discovering fertilisers, trees and other plants started to grow fast.
Thus
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, it is important to use
innovation
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 in solving social and natural
problems
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 , owing to these solutions many countries will develop significantly. So
then
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 , these kinds of
problems
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 will not influence people's lives negatively. In conclusion, as far as I am concerned, it is arduous to improve our economy without
innovation
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. If there is a balanced approach to these issues, ecological and social
problems
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 will be easily reduced.

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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear response to the task, more specific examples could strengthen your argument. For instance, discussing concrete innovations in the environmental or social sector would add depth.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are clear and logically structured, but try to ensure every paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using linking words and phrases can help maintain the flow.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate varied sentence structures to enhance readability. This will make your essay more engaging and easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets out both sides of the argument, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your stance.
logical structure
The essay has a clear structure, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific point, making it easy to follow your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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