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🔶In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. 🔸What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#🔶in #cultures #children #🔸what #message
It is well said that hard
work
 is key to success.In many cultures,it is usually said to
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
 that they can achieve their goals if they do hard
work
.There are some merits and demerits of saying
this
 to
children
. There are many pros of giving
this
 message to pupils.
firstly
Capitalize word
Firstly
show examples
,in
this
 competitive era,it is very essential to do hard and smart
work
 to complete one's aims.If
children
 are taught to
work
 hard in their studies,they will be motivated for
this
 and become successful in their lives.
Secondaly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
,if parents do not ask their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
 for hard
work
,they may not focus on their subjects and
this
 results
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
low
Add an article
the low
show examples
 performance of kids.If students do
work
hardly
Change the word
hard
show examples
,they will perform well in their schools and achieve success in future. Moving to the cons of
this
 trend,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 asking
children
 to do hard
work
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
acheiving
Correct your spelling
achieve
 anything
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sometimes
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 pressure on their minds.They feel stressed and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
work
 for longer hours
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their dreams .But
due to
 some reasons,if they fail to achieve their goal ,they feel depressed and
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
show examples
this
leads to affect
Verb problem
affects
show examples
 their mental health.
Moreover
,in
this
 modern era,to complete one's dreams,it is not enough to do only hard
work
,rather than
this
,both hard and smart
work
 are required.so it is not beneficial to
told
Wrong verb form
tell
show examples
children
 to do hard
work
 only,
this
 only
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 their energy.
To conclude
,
although
 hard
work
 is really important to become successful,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
 without proper strategies,it is difficult to achieve goals.
Submitted by kajalwatts0000 on

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Structure
Ensure you have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction should outline the main points you intend to discuss, while your conclusion should summarize these points without introducing new information.
Paragraph Development
Develop your paragraphs with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details and examples. Make certain each paragraph sticks to one main idea to avoid confusion.
Linking Words
Use cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively. Transition words, synonyms, and pronouns can help maintain flow and coherence throughout your essay.
Task Fulfillment
While addressing the task, make sure you cover all parts of the prompt. Discussing both advantages and disadvantages as the question requires is essential for a high task achievement score.
Specific Examples
Expand on your ideas by providing specific, relevant examples. Rather than making general statements, use illustrative examples to demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
Language Use
Avoid using informal language, contractions, and spelling errors. Strive for academic tone and precision throughout your essay to enhance readability and professionalism.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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