Some people say that it is not possible to be happy without money, while others think that money does not guarantee happiness. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

It is truly said that
money
softens the blow but cannot prevent it.
Happiness
and
money
belong to two different worlds and
if
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
they are complementary or contrary is a matter of subjective viewpoint. Those who believe that
money
is the ultimate source and supporter of
happiness
lacks
Correct subject-verb agreement
lack
show examples
the emotional quotient in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
life.
Thet
Correct your spelling
They
show examples
cite
money
being the resource of their smile and good relations with other but
lesser
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they know that most of their relationships are built only on the supply of
money
and lacks emotional
conectedness
Correct your spelling
connection
. There can be certain situations
also
that
can be certain situations
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
also
that can make some
people
hyperdependent
Correct your spelling
hyper dependent
hyper-dependent
on
money
.
May be
Correct your spelling
Maybe
show examples
their childhood was full of financial
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
show examples
despite having
full
Add an article
a full
show examples
fledge family that converted their belief regarding
happiness
. On the reverse side, certain
people
consider that detachment
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
happiness
and
money
is good. They think that
money
cannot guarantee
happiness
or
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
healthy relationships. If we view the world around us, we can see wealthy
people
having tons of
money
crying and starving for real
heart to heart
Add a hyphen
heart-to-heart
show examples
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
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that can provide real
happiness
.
Money
can guarantee
people
around you but not the real one or those who truly care for you. These
people
may not win financially but their chances of winning
at
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in
show examples
life are greater. If
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
take into account my opinion, I would choose
happiness
over
money
and would like to let go
money
Change preposition
of money
show examples
in return
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
true relationships and real
happiness
.
Submitted by deepayadav596 on

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structure
Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement. Body paragraphs should expand on your viewpoints with supporting arguments. The conclusion should summarise your points and restate your opinion.
language
Work on creating more complex sentence structures and use a range of linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
content
Provide specific examples to support your views. This adds credibility to your arguments and demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
accuracy
Pay attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar to avoid errors that can hinder the essay's clarity and impact.
position
Make sure your position is clear throughout the response and particularly in the conclusion.
repetition
Avoid repeating ideas, introduce new perspectives or insights in separate paragraphs.
development
Clarify and develop the main points in each paragraph more extensively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic security
  • enriching experiences
  • broaden horizons
  • emotional well-being
  • materialism
  • asset management
  • life satisfaction
  • fundamental needs
  • reduce stress
  • enabling experiences
  • emotional needs
  • accumulate wealth
  • never-ending cycle
  • subjective
  • multifaceted
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